Remarrying: Maybe or I Do?

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19 comments on this post.
  1. Justin:

    I agree with everything you have said.

    I feel the same way.
    Justin recently posted..Best SuperbowlsMy Profile

  2. Random Girl:

    Ok, so can you seriously get out of my head?? I just had this conversation two days ago with another divorced and content woman and we both came out with the same answer: Maybe.
    I love having a my uber-comfy king size bed all to myself in which I can lay sideways, backwards, or up-side-down on without having to consider anyone else’s comfort and/or tolerate snoring in the process. I like picking my own TV channels, going to Target, and running my own agenda without apology. I like eating cereal for dinner if I feel like and only having to clean up after myself. However, I loved being a wife. I loved knowing that someone legally obligated to listen to me and put up with me even when I was kind of unreasonable. I loved the extended family. I would like that again. Overall, I completely agree with you that based on the level of comfort that I have in my life currently, it would take an extraordinary man to compel me to adjust to sharing my life again. But you can trust also that if I found that man, I would do it all over again and this time I would do it much better. You can’t let love pass you by for the sake of routine or comfort. You never know when you might get another chance to make that decision again.

  3. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    Random Girl,

    I completely agree, as I stated in my post, that it has to be a really special relationship to change the life I have now. And I would also remarry.

    You had really good points. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Commenter:

    Never underestimate the power, potential, and warmth of love. When it works it is truly wonderful.

  5. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    I agree that love is a wonderful thing.

    Come back tomorrow and Monday as I wrap up this series on Love & Relationships.

  6. SuzRocks:

    If I were to ever get divorced, I highly doubt I’d remarry- I had to go through all those issues to get married the FIRST time around. I don’t see how I’d ever overcome them a SECOND.
    SuzRocks recently posted..9 Songs To Make You SmileMy Profile

  7. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    Suz,

    There would be a lot to overcome, but I bet you would. Hopefully you will just stay happily married though.

  8. BrerMatt:

    I agree with you. Never settle.

    Asking myself whether I’d marry again or not is kinda useless until there’s a real woman attached to the other end of the thoughts.
    BrerMatt recently posted..What does it mean to be braveMy Profile

  9. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    BrerMatt,

    I suggest you work out a clearly-defined list of qualities you are looking for so you don’t fall into a bad relationship. I can speak from experience.

  10. BrerMatt:

    I’m not a list-making type of person. I’m pretty aware of what I like and what I would need from a relationship. I’ve been divorced for 6 years, and had both good and bad relationships during that time. I’m not looking for a relationship now.
    BrerMatt recently posted..What does it mean to be braveMy Profile

  11. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    Well then it sounds like you will be prepared when you are ready to start dating again.

  12. Sandy:

    As a widow, I feel the same way. While I miss my husband, I am content with my life for the most part. I have lived in the same small town since 1994 and have lots of friends always willing to help me around the house should I need it. It would take someone really special for me to even consider marrying again.

  13. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    I am in complete agreement Sandy. I plan to be open to the idea if the right man comes into my life though. I don’t want to miss out in life as a result of a fear to change.

    Best of luck!

  14. Kate:

    I’m divorced AND remarried. I had two kids when I remarried, and now I have three. What it took for me was someone who accepted that my kids were part of the deal AND loved them like they were his. Not to mention loved the heck out of me.

    My ex-husband also remarried, and his new wife had a daughter at the time. No way would I tolerate my kids being given the kind of second-class citizen he gives his step-daughter.
    Kate recently posted..The Bright SideMy Profile

  15. Kate:

    OK…I finished typing, submitted, and had more to say. (I usually have more to say). Here’s the hard thing about remarrying when kids are already in the picture. When you first marry, typically (at least, in the old-fashioned way) the kids you have come from that marriage and are born from that relationship. While raising kids is one of the most important things in a relationship, the husband-wife relationship should (in my opinion) be the priority. That works in a first marriage.

    In a second marriage where kids are part of the deal, when you put your relationship with your husband first (and anyone who reads my blog very regularly would laugh because right now our life is pretty consumed with all of the activities of three kids and it’s very difficult to make much time for our relationship), it can look like you’re choosing him over your kids in a way that’s different than when you’re with their dad. I don’t know if this is making any sense. I’m very lucky in the man who’s sharing my children with me, and it still gets tricky. Worth it, but tricky.

    Sorry for the book.
    Kate recently posted..The Bright SideMy Profile

  16. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    Kate~

    No apologies needed! I love to receive comments from readers. One of the best aspects is that I learn from my readers and I am so grateful for that.

    It is tricky navigating dating as a single mom and I know it will be complicated remarrying. I would love, at some point in my life, to have a successful marriage. So I do hope it will work out for me. If it does, hopefully my readers will help me as I move into that stage of my life.

    It sounds like you and your husband are succeeding as a couple and with co-parenting. Good for you!

  17. Roxanne:

    I totally get your post. I’m divorced but not in a relationship and haven’t been in a real one since the separation. I find it hard to imagine being a girlfriend, let alone a wife. But I’m not a man hater. I just can’t picture it. My Ex-Husband recently remarried. I think he needs to be married. Though it would provide me with some benefits, I feel like I’m not seeking it emotionally. I like sleeping alone. But I could fall in love and remarry. It would be completely different, mostly because we would never have children together. I do think it would be romantic, though, because in order for me to open up like that, it would have to be a mind-blowing love and companionship, it would really be earth-moving. I’m not completely jaded. There would have to be a prenup, though. ha!

  18. Jeff:

    The most common source of problems in marriages is that the couple misinterpreted their mutual feelings of attraction as love. This normally results in the couple trying to keep up appearances after about 5 years, and wondering where the love went.

    It is important to know that attraction is an emotional feeling that may fade, while love is a promise that has little to do with attraction. If you are thinking of getting married, then please read “Attraction is a feeling. Love is a promise.” by Grenville Phillips, president of Walbrent College.

  19. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    You have some great points, Jeff. Thanks for visiting and commenting.