Ben Harper Sings about Forever and the Naked Girl is Undecided

February 14, 2011

in Relationships, While Perched upon my Soapbox

CupidWriting, like relationships, can turn unexpectedly. I can have a plan and be hopeful of the results, but it could end in a way that I have not anticipated.

Today I had a wonderful, hope-filled post about finding love and keeping it alive. But after a 20-year marriage that ended, and a complete train-wreck of a relationship that followed, I decided I would let the experts opine on the topic of lasting love and I would share something refreshing.


I think forever is luck. Possibly a crap shoot. As hard as you try and as much as you can love another person, it does take two. You have to fall in love with someone who is worthy and appreciative of your love. This person has to share these same feelings and have an interest in working at the relationship with you. Together you must avoid doing irrevocable harm to the relationship, stoke the fires, balance a busy life, and more. It is hard work.

Can it happen?


Listen to this beautiful song by Ben Harper called “Forever.”

He sings about wanting to find his “forever home” and asks for her “forever.” But the most accurate line in the song for me, at this stage in my life, is:

“Forever always seems to be around when things begin, but forever never seems to be around when it ends.”

I have experienced the forever in the beginning and recognized the absence of forever at the end. But I haven’t figured out what happens in the middle to make sure forever doesn’t end.

I still have a chance to turn my mood around today, and be happier about the prospect of finding a love that lasts forever on this day devoted to love. We will see what the rest of the day brings. If I haven’t ruined your day:

Happy Valentine’s Day to those of you who are celebrating.


Sandy February 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

I am not so sure forever does exist but I suppose I am more than a little cynical and jaded and just plain pissed off that TJ died. So, this Valentine’s Day, I’ll have that drink with you and Jerrod.

Naked Girl in a Dress February 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm


I am so sorry you lost TJ. I am not going to say anything like “time heals” because I am not capable of that today. What I will say is that Jerrod and I are great company and Random Girl is joining us too.

It will be easy to spot us; we will be the group at the bar NOT wearing red today.

Random Girl February 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Uh oh sweets…. not the tone I was expecting after the goings on recently. I will not pry as it is certainly not my place but I do understand and respect your quest for understanding where “forever” goes somewhere in the middle that leads to the end. Regardless of celebration or sorrow, together or separate, sure or undecided, it is a valid truth to seek.
I’ll be at the bar with Jerrod if you need me…lol

Naked Girl in a Dress February 14, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Thanks Random Girl. It’s just my very jaded take after what I have been through in the past. And, as you wrote, together or separate, sure or undecided, I am after the truth. That in between is what has me stumped.

Make sure Jerrod saves me that seat!

Classic NYer February 14, 2011 at 6:35 pm

“Forever doesn’t seem so long until you’re grown…” — Andre 3000 in “Sorry Mrs Jackson”

But here’s a question: why does love have to be forever? Why can’t love just be now? Just a thought…
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Nikki Rules February 14, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Oh my god, I’m going to start by saying that I disagree!

Here’s how or why: Jerrod’s post in the Magazine isn’t an anti love post, and I don’t think it’s even an anti Valentines post. It’s about the idiocy people go through to SHOW OFF their lavishness. People are insane about that stuff. It’s not about the essence of the mood or emotion, it’s the ‘keeping up with the Jones’ and wanting to appear more successful in love than your co-workers, this hoping to create envy. Well, that’s how I read it.

I do believe in forever. I don’t think I’ve found it. Even if I am currently married and very much in love, I am not blind to the dangers and the signs. For now I’m just enjoying the ride and taking double bites out of life every step of the way.

I just may be saving you a spot at the bar just because I’d hate to miss out on a good venting session. That and I love me some yummy cocktails!
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Naked Girl in a Dress February 14, 2011 at 8:33 pm


Jerrod did write it more as a joke, but it appears to have taken on a life of it’s own, including a variety of interpretations.

Thanks for visiting!

.endtransmission. February 14, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Well, I’ll wish you a happy VD anyways. And you KNOW if I was closer, I would be doing irish carbombs with ya at the bar. Gimme some more advance notice next time, will ya?

Naked Girl in a Dress February 14, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I hope to be less cynical next year, but if I am hanging out with Jerrod again, I will definitely give you notice earlier of the get-together.

Random Girl February 14, 2011 at 9:21 pm

No way can ET come… he sent me to a Rick Astley video at 9am this morning… bastard!! lol There is not a single thing I could think of to hate more!!

.end transmission. February 15, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Random, you’re just hatin’ because I thought of it first. And I pulled you in with all of my sugary sweet romancy crap. LOL :-P Glad I could start your VD with a laugh!

Random Girl February 15, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Suck it ET! You are a cold hearted and I will not be falling for your sentimental “look how deep and introspective I am” BS again sir…. I will consider all things you post a complete and utter set up for another sucky video punk! lol

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