On Battling a Scary Monster. And Winning.

January 18, 2012

in Relationships

scary monster

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Stepping out of our comfort zone to do something that scares us can be overwhelming. It is safe to stick with what is known; we have a routine and we can guess the outcome of our day-to-day activities as a result.

Predictable is safe, but we rarely grow or fully experience life if we avoid new experiences. We have to step out of our safe routines to truly live.

I am currently doing something that scares me. It is not something as thrilling as taking skydiving or kitesurfing lessons. What I fear the most right now might be laughable to some, but it is a very real fear to me.

My fear is of getting my heart broken.

I am terrified in fact.

The pain of a broken heart can be overwhelming and all-consuming. I would like to avoid feeling that way again. What The Boyfriend so aptly pointed out last weekend is that he doesn’t want his heart broken either. We are in this together, with these feelings, but mine seem more like a scary monster I am battling.  The reality is that no one wants to have a broken heart; I am not alone in these feelings.

What I do know is that without taking the risk, I will never experience the wonderful things that come from being in a loving relationship. This thought helps me when I feel the fear rising up in me.

But I won’t let that fear overtake me and rob me of something wonderful that is blossoming in my life. I am staring down this scary monster.

I am being brave.

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Suniverse January 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I think this is THE scariest monster. Truly. Opening yourself up like this? TERRIFYING.

Naked Girl in a Dress January 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Thank you. It does feel like the scariest monster imaginable to me right now.

Jenn @therebelchick January 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Nothing risked, nothing gained. :)
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Naked Girl in a Dress January 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

You are correct Jenn, which is why I am taking the risk. That and he is totally worth it.

Eric January 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Even though he’s a Ravens fan? (Go Pats!)

Seriously, fear of a broken heart – or just a fear of not being accepted by another – is huge for many people.

You are indeed very brave for being willing to see things through. Kick that monster in the … !
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Naked Girl in a Dress January 19, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Ha! Yes, even though he is a Ravens fan. I am working on that monster. He seems less scary after talking through it over the weekend with The Boyfriend.

Libby January 18, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Failure or loss are the scariest things in life. Good for you for standing up to them.

Oh, and I LOVED “Major Pettigrew.” Talk about the perfect book to go along with this post!
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Naked Girl in a Dress January 19, 2012 at 8:20 pm

What a great comment Libby. I didn’t even think about Pettigrew scrolling through my Amazon ad! You are right; I can take some lessons from Major Pettigrew. He went for it in a very significant way and against many odds.

Amy January 19, 2012 at 6:33 am

While it is the WORST, looking back on it, it occurs to me that it never killed me, so I must be stronger, right? Bonus!
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Naked Girl in a Dress January 19, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Very good point Amy. Thanks for the reminder!

Brook L. Dame January 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

It seems like you’re winning the battle; the very fact that you’ve acknowledged it’s scary AND you’re working through it is, in and of itself, a huge win.

I hope to be that brave. I’ve taken on tackling other issues that cause fear but this is one area that still takes a back seat.

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Naked Girl in a Dress January 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Thank you Brook. I am working through it. Heartache is a terrible feeling and one I would love to avoid completely, but that means not putting myself out there to experience the good as well.

As for the back seat? I have some things waiting as well. :)

Jester Queen June 14, 2012 at 1:22 pm

It’s worth it. He loves you, and you love him. Beyond that, there’s nothing either of you can control. It may last forever, it may last a little while, and I hope you enjoy every minute of it.
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Naked Girl in a Dress June 14, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Thank you Jessie. He is worth being brave and battling that scary monster. Thankfully he has been helping along the way.

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