Serendipitous Events, Fate and the Universe

July 29, 2011

in Song of the Week

Today I find myself writing because of the recent guest post on Naked Girl by Kir of The Kir Corner. She wrote here Wednesday about finding balance. Kir shared her thoughts on how to have some level of privacy and yet still be the Naked Girl in a Dress on her blog.

It reminded me of the moment last summer when I realized it was time to be more authentic; to share my name, image, and open up more was something I felt compelled to do. It was a liberating experience for me. My writing has also been stronger as a result.

Reading what Kir wrote for my blog also happened to be a serendipitous event for me. Lately I have avoided writing about a topic, but gained clarity as I read Kir’s thoughts on what it means to be a Naked Girl in a Dress.

And, as a result, it is time to figuratively rip the Band-Aid off quickly instead of peeling it off slowly. It is time to share what has been on my mind, but have been unable to write. Not doing so has been bothering me and I have, to some extent, avoided writing on my blog as a result.

What is the Band-Aid I am speaking of?

The relationship with Mr. Thunderbolt is over. It has been for several weeks, but I have not found the right words to share the news here.

Was this a heart-breaking break-up? No. I was relieved it was over.

Why I struggled to write here was that I had this here-we-go-again feeling. I have a break-up and insert the next guy I am dating into funny antidotal stories. Rinse and repeat.

Each man I date, good or bad, is a lesson. I learn from the experience, edit the list I made of what I am looking for, and start anew. There is nothing wrong with this, but I think I am tired of introducing someone only to have to share another break-up story with readers.

Earlier this year I opened the scope of my blog to include relationships. I still want to write on this topic, but right now feel I want privacy in my own relationships. My kids have only met one man I have dated and I will continue to be particular about who I allow in my children’s lives. Maybe I need to be as discerning here too.

Am I missing something in my writing if I want privacy in this aspect of my life right now?

I don’t think so. I can still be the Naked Girl, but leave a little for myself. As Kir wrote in her guest post here this week,

So I think I am going to keep the sheet handy and use it as a cover-up from time to time and then some days, when I am feeling frisky, I’ll put on the backless dress and glitter heels that I keep at the back of my closet and let you peek inside my wilder side.

Like Kir, I will let you peek inside when I am ready to share.

For this week’s Song of the Week, I am sharing a Howie Day song called “Collide.” The video for the song is made of clips from the movie Serendipity. The movie is about a happy accident, a chance encounter. It is about fate and being open to the power of that chance encounter.

As AC said after the recent break-up, “Let’s see what the Universe brings you Kelly.”

Yes, let’s see.

I promise to share what the Universe brings when I am ready. Until then, there’s so much else to share. I am never at a loss for words. With 150 posts published, you must agree.

Enjoy the Howie Day song and the video. And if you have free time this weekend, watch Serendipity.

Happy Friday!

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Kir July 29, 2011 at 3:09 pm

so first I’m so honored, literally. That what I wrote could bring you to this amazing realization. Thank you for this.

now, I love that movie, mostly because I love John Cusack and because the thought of things just happening because they “Should” is a concept that I wrap my hands around and squeeze.
Plus that song is also a favorite, for it’s simple idea of things just running into each other and having that change the course of a life.

I am sorry about MR Thunderbolt, but from it, the lesson is that that universe has something better, sweeter, MORE in store for you and while I am sorry if your heart is hurting, I am also so excited to see what gift this world has wrapped up for you, waiting for the big reveal.

I’m blown away and so happy we’ve met Kelly. :)
Kir recently posted..TRDC:Kimmy & David:What the Doughnut SawMy Profile

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Elena July 29, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Like Kir, I adore that movie! Sorry about Mr Thunderbolt, but as someone who has been there, I truly beieve that everything happens for a reason. And each relationship good or bad taught me new things that helped me eventually be in the right place in my head to meet my second husband. Good luck!

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Vinny C July 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm

I feel the same way about sharing certain things only when I feel comfortable doing it.

I’m sorry to hear about the breakup but I’m glad you handling it so well.
Vinny C recently posted..Another Pretend Post To Lead You Somewhere Else.My Profile

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Heather O. July 29, 2011 at 7:49 pm

I’m sorry to hear about Mr. Thunderbolt, but like Kir said, there is so much better and more wonderful out there waiting for you. Enjoy the sweetness and the privacy! :)
Heather O. recently posted..The Value of GenerosityMy Profile

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Jana July 29, 2011 at 11:14 pm

I’ve been amazed by your willingness to be open about relationships on your blog, because I’ve found it nearly impossible to write about my post-divorce romance(s). I feel like a huge reason for my failing to do so is simply that I’m tired of having everyone in my life know about my partner (my ex-spouse had a popular blog so our split was rather public, which was hard in many ways). But also because my current life just doesn’t seem to fit well into a 3-paragraph blogpost. It’s complicated to be dating again and to deal with the fears of doing so and the difficulties of navigating this with my children.
But it also seems so strange _not_ to be writing about this hugely important part of my journey…

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An Authentic Life July 30, 2011 at 1:34 am

I LOVE that you are choosing authenticity! Way to go girl!
Embrace that face in the mirror (and on the blog!)

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Melissa Hicks July 30, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I think that it’s interesting that you see yourself as recently more nude to your audience. I also enjoyed reading Kir’s thoughts on how one does not need to shock or bare all to be genuine. For a lot of people being real, open, and genuine is about what isn’t said, or not for prudishness, but for choosing to say things in a delicate or veiled way. It is what they.

It is not what I am surely. I am the tell-all, naked really, expose myself occasionally kind of blogger. And you know what? I have never once dared expose a boy on my blog. Even with a code name.

I am convince that will sink the next relationship, even if I can’t. I think a lot of what Kir said, and what I am trying to is that we are all bold in our own ways. For all my bravado, you say things that would scare me senseless.
Melissa Hicks recently posted..My Gorilla Suit and the Powerful Symbolism of FruitMy Profile

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jetts31 December 3, 2011 at 8:36 am

I’m glad you were able to open up. It can be a liberating experience. But, as you know, there is a fine line of sharing and maintaining our privacy. Sorry to hear about Mr Thunderbolt but I am sure you are stronger today. Looking forward to more from the Naked Girl.

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

It was a fun, brief relationship, but nothing of substance. If I am honest with myself, that I am looking for a long term partner (not necessarily a husband though), then the end to this relationship made sense. Thanks Jetts.

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Jessica December 3, 2011 at 9:37 am

I have found it so freeing to be myself on my blog and share my feelings in my writing. There are many things I’m not very good at conveying in person so writing them out feels great. Love the honesty that you are able to share.

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

Thank you Jessica! I wrote this post in the summer and I am starting to rethink the writing moratorium on relationships. It might be time to open this back up again.

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adventures in alyssaland December 3, 2011 at 12:24 pm

It is funny cause I don’t write about my relationships much either. Mostly because the man in my life requested I not write about him in my blog. And I honor that request.

For me I also don’t write about sex or anything of the ilk. Not that I wanna write porn or anything but there are times a reference or an antidote would work. I mostly avoid it cause my parents (whom I live with) read my blog. Sometimes when I am in the room.

But you have given me something to ponder.

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2011 at 10:08 am

I shared this post with Write on Edge last weekend because I am contemplating opening up again. The wonderful thing is that we really have only self-imposed rules with our writing. So, like you, I have something to ponder. Thanks for visiting!

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Jennifer December 4, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I think your boundaries are more than reasonable. We all have to decide where to draw the line on the internet. Some are more comfortable sharing very personal aspects of their lives while others are not. As a reader, I just try to respect the boundaries. What lies beyond them is really none of my business.
Jennifer recently posted..Merging PoemsMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2011 at 10:09 am

Thanks for visiting! I shared this post because I am on the fence about letting readers back in. I will be writing about it today actually.

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