Interviewing Prince Charming

Guest Writer

Today’s guest is a special friend: David from The Blue Orchid of Texas. We visit each other’s blogs and enjoy interacting on Studio30 Plus. David always leaves wonderfully insightful and often funny comments here and I love our interactions elsewhere.

Anyone who has spent 60 seconds on David’s blog knows he loves women. But if you spend more time, you realize it’s not in an objectifying way, he simply worships women on all levels. David is a kind, thoughtful, bright man who has a way with words. The advice David gives today on Naked Girl is excellent example. After you have read this piece, please visit his blog and follow him on Studio30 Plus.

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Over the last few weeks I have sensed a real need to speak out about the complex and often challenging subject of relationships between men and women. While it’s true that the subject is vast and often shifting rapidly based on individual preferences between the sexes, I believe that there are in fact some foundational starting places that need to be talked about. Trust me, I’m a romantic at heart and truly love happy endings but at the same time I have found them to be rare. That’s not bitterness speaking but experience of seeing and often being in the shoes of failure to thrive in relationships. And I have seen one too many “train wrecks” occur with women friends who didn’t see the train on the tracks until it was too late to avoid. You know, it is often said that first impressions are everything and I believe that in a sense that is true but even more so, I believe that when we are brave enough to ask the “hard questions” and listen actively and deeply, then we have an opportunity to both avoid unproductive and unfulfilling relationships and hurting the feelings of others who may be making assumptions of us that will remain unmet. Personally, I’ve found that the best part of relationships are found in the discovery and in the journey with others and not in just painting a pretty picture of a sunset together that may never be seen.

Truly, we are each relational creatures and we thrive and grow best when we are in relationships with other human beings. Yes, we are entirely capable of living alone and being single but I believe that our nature is best realized when it is engaged in dancing with the heart of another person. That said, how do we ensure that we are matching ourselves well with others who should share our heart’s desires? Is it having the ultimate profile on match.com? Perhaps, but what if we were able to seize the opportunity to ask the right questions before the relationship even began? One of the things that have suffered in the world of relationships between men and women over the last few years is that as a culture, we seem to have lost a practical understanding of what dating is really about. Dating has now morphed into a relentless pursuit for making it work with the one you just met and not a gentle and fun time of exploration of many potential loving relationships. That’s why we see so many people going from one long term relationship to another one instead of many people engaged in a fun dance of discovery to find the “right one” for them. We have also begun to overlook the importance of asking the right questions in the beginning of a relationship before it is too late. Why wouldn’t we want to know answers to our hearts questions? Are we afraid of conflict or losing interest in the guy who just asked us out? Seriously, wouldn’t it be far better to have one date that didn’t “go anywhere” than months of time and energy vested in something that ended badly for everyone?

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