Finding that ‘Alone’ Time

Around 8:15, my phone starts ringing.  Of course my mother would be calling me this early.  I let it go to voicemail.  Five minutes later, laser blasters are being shot, kids are running around the house like freaking lunatics, The Big Guy is up and sex has been taken off the menu.  I was pissed.  And then the strangest thing happened.

“I’m running to the store.  I will be right back.” The Big Guy said to me.

He never just goes to the store.  He returned with Dunkin Donuts for the kids, bagel sandwiches from our favorite local bagel shop and one million awesome spouse points in his column.  He put a towel down on the floor and let the little kids eat in the family room (something they rarely get to do) and climbed back in bed with me so we could cuddle, eat and in the end, get some between the sheets action.  My Sunday plan wasn’t ruined.  Instead, we just adjusted to the situation.

And that is how we live our life.  We live, we plan, we adjust, we stay us.  Relationships are never easy, all the time.  They take work, they take time, and they take the ability to wing it if something doesn’t go as planned.

So go plan some alone time or a date night…And remember to have an available couch or bathroom if the alone time or date night turns into just a few free minutes.

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13 comments on this post.
  1. Danielle:

    I love shoes AND this post! =)
    Danielle recently posted..Eating OutMy Profile

  2. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    Aren’t the shoes the best? I love Dani for so many reasons, but won’t forget it started with the shoes.

  3. CubicleViews:

    I may not have 5 kids (2 here) but I can so relate to this post (at least from the Big Guy’s standpoint). Definitely going to have my wife read this.
    After I get donuts and bagels and coffee this weekend.
    CubicleViews recently posted..What’s Distracting Me WednesdaysMy Profile

  4. Naked Girl in a Dress:

    Excellent plan, CV!

  5. Gina:

    My kids are now away in college (lucky them, fun times!) so now we have all the time in the world. But back when they were young, we’d do something similar because we loved our Sunday mornings. On the breakfast bar, we would set out bowls, spoons, boxes of favorite cereals, pour milk in a small pitcher, and queue up their favorite movie. Explain it fully to the oldest and say have fun in the morning. They felt grown up and didn’t come a knockin’ until around 10. It was awesome! This was great advice for those with young kids and we COMPLETELY agree that you take a quickie whenever it’s available because you never know…
    Gina recently posted..A Chance Encounter and Car Wash CardsMy Profile

  6. Charlotte:

    Oh, I love this. It’s so awesome to read about couples who make time for each other despite life’s many complications.

    MAJOR brownie points to the Big Guy :)
    Charlotte recently posted..(sponsored post) Gain matchmaker… find your perfect scent!My Profile

  7. sue diamond-phillipd:

    I totally love this!! And may be stealing this idea. My kids are such cock blockers!

  8. Eva:

    Yes, definitely fabulous shoes!

    I agree we definitely have to make time to maintain our relationships and it helps when you’re married to your best friend. I guess the problem I always ran into was just being exhausted at the end of the day after work and then after another full-time job of running a household. And I am no morning person.

    Maybe I needed a shift in perspective, but my body and brain just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm. And, there’s nothing worse than unenthusiastic sex. So, it wasn’t so much about finding the free time or an intimate location, it was about the exhaustion from all the required activities of life.

    My girlfriends and I were just talking about this topic in response to this Harvard Business Review article yesterday. Maintaining a healthy sex life in a marriage/partnership is definitely essential and definitely hard work to make it happen.

    By the way, I disagree where the article says that women don’t feel all that guilty about not spending enough time with kids, but feel guilty about spending time on themselves. That’s just completely false, in my experience.

  9. alfred lives here:

    Have no kids, still totally LOVED this post, and discovered a new blogger to follow… EXCELLENT!
    alfred lives here recently posted..Selling Spelling Manners…My Profile

  10. Alexis:

    I think it’s so awesome you still focus on you and major points for making you a priority. Who said just because we’re married with kids we can’t still be in love and act like it? Major Kudos!! Maybe I’ll set my alarm for 5:30 a.m…..nah, that’s just crazy talk.
    Alexis recently posted..We’re Fighting The Power On Fight Procrastination DayMy Profile

  11. Claudia:

    Nice plan. Like that.
    Claudia recently posted..רדאיקס – Exchange solutionsMy Profile

  12. Adam D. Oglesby:

    Man, you need to distribute this on a stone tablet to every couple on earth.

    My philosophy exactly. People make up more weak excuses not to have sex. Come on—you don’t need an hour. Heck, you might only need five minutes.

    It’s hard to imagine being so tired, so distracted, so not in the mood that you can’t give your mate those few minutes.

    If you have anything but the youngest of children—it’s alright to leave them alone for a few minutes. The world won’t automatically end just because the parents are not there to watch them every split second.

    That concept can be hard for some over protective parents to grasp.

    So often lack of regular sex becomes a contentious topic between mates—the disintegrating foundation around which all kinds of other issues revolves.

    The grind of life can be exhausting, trying, and frustrating. If you work a demanding job and/or are struggling with kids and their incessant needs– it may take a monumental effort to make alone time for you and your mate.

    But if spending alone time with your mate is that low on the priority scale—hey, don’t worry about it. See, it’s situations like that which practically encourage your mate to start looking for alone time with somebody else.
    Adam D. Oglesby recently posted..Abstinence Doesn’t Work: How Long Can You Wait?My Profile

  13. Kendra:

    Great Post. Keep them coming. I feel like i know you. Baby Fever, come over to my house. hehe.

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