That used to be my answer. I didn’t see a reason to unnecessarily bring my kids into a relationship that probably would not last. When I fell in love with a man last year, the answer changed to:
Months into the relationship (and slowly).
As he was becoming more a part of my life, it made sense to introduce Princess Daisy and Monkey to him slowly. I wasn’t ready for an instant family-type environment, but rather just wanted them to have exposure to each other. When there was finally more time spent together, I realized he wasn’t interested in spending time with my kids, didn’t have a solid relationship with his own, and wasn’t connecting on any level with my children. This lesson was a great reminder that life doesn’t always work out the way you plan, but that each life experience gives you better insight for the next time. Which leads to my new answer to the question:
As soon as possible.
Knowing early in the relationship this would work beyond the two of us became an important goal for me with Sean. This time it wasn’t just about introducing the new man in my life to my kids though. I also wanted to meet his children, see him interacting with them, and assess whether having our children together would work as well.
Within the first two months of dating, Sean and I have each spent time with the other’s kids, and I met his ex (bonus). When planning out our calendar for the upcoming month, we scheduled a nice balance of couple and kid time. Our children are too important to us to segregate aspects of our lives, and feel happy long term in the relationship. I am glad because the kids are bringing something more fulfilling to an already wonderful relationship.
Have you introduced kids to a new partner?
Did it work well?
Please share below!