The Ugly Truth about Mr. Perfect

October 11, 2012

in Relationships

Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist.

Seriously, he doesn’t. Get over it now if you want to find your own version of happily ever after. You need to realize scenarios like this don’t exist:

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 What about a guy who will miss a major sporting event for a craft fair? You can find him. I am sure you will (she says quite sarcastically).

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 I have not known this to have ever happened, either.

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But guess what you can find in life? Mr. Perfect-For-You. He might help with the laundry, kids, grocery shopping, and cleaning. That guy could possibly spend quality time with your mother, missing the first quarter of a game. He could be known to even leave work early to pick up the kids on a day you are sick. But at times he will also be cranky, inconsiderate, make messes, skip quality family time to watch a sport, and more.

There’s something else important to understand about relationships: you won’t be perfect either, and there will be days you are less than perfect together.

This wise man said it best:

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. His heart. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” ~Bob Marley 

Tell me about your Mr. (or Ms.) Perfect-For-You…


{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Nicole October 11, 2012 at 3:29 pm

My Geekface is my Mr.-Perfect-for-Me for reasons beyond making me laugh, being affectionate, etc. I think what really solidifies us is that we have each others’ backs. ALL. THE. TIME. We’re on the same team. We support the other’s ambitions, choices, efforts, etc. Even if we disagree on how to handle something. If he has a problem, I support his choices to solve that problem HIS way. And vice versa.

There is a beautiful quote about the damage of a misguided or controlling relationship in The Story of an Hour: “There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature.”

We do NOT do this. We don’t have a permissive relationship. We don’t control one another. We don’t expect the other to change or be something each of us is not. If that’s what we want, then we need to find other people.
Nicole recently posted..cura personalis*My Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress October 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Your relationship stories are always so inspiring, Nicole. Thanks for sharing a glimpse into your relationship.

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Charlotte October 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Oh, I just love that quote. Funny, it’s been a Bob Marley kind of day for me today. And these pictures have me rollin’. Just hysterical.

You know, it’s funny… I don’t know why we keep perpetuating this rumor that there are perfect men out there when we know ourselves that we are flawed. Being perfectly imperfect is a beautiful thing. We learn from our mistakes and our partners learn from us when they see how we deal with some of the rough patches life throws our way.
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Naked Girl in a Dress October 12, 2012 at 12:00 am

We aren’t perfect and no man we date ever will be either. We seem to forget that in the dating process. It’s a good reminder, and the images are a really fun reminder. Thanks for visiting today, my friend.

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Jonah Gibson October 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Honestly, I have never thought of myself as perfect, but I have done everything pictured here, and then some, fairly regularly for 30 years. I must be way better than I imagined. Of course I never did look like a model, so I guess there’s always going to be a trade-off.
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Naked Girl in a Dress October 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

You sound perfect to me, Jonah! I already knew you were a good man; this is just further proof.

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Kimberly October 11, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I’m definitely not searching for Mr. Perfect. I could never be naked in front of him :)

But seriously, living with another human will require compromise, a tolerance for mess, and a pact to agree not try to change each other (but also to allow for growth of the other — I don’t want someone to expect me to be exactly who I am at this moment for the rest of my days — too suffocating!).

I’m up for the challenge. Well, as long as he doesn’t have a mug shot as his primary profile picture and a foot fetish.
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Naked Girl in a Dress October 11, 2012 at 11:57 pm

It’s great to read you are up for the challenge. You have had such progress! It’s great to see you open to what life brings you, my friend.

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Lisa Thomson October 11, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Great post. It’s nice to know it’s okay to NOT be perfect! And if we don’t have to be then, we shouldn’t expect our guys to be perfect. I wish it were that simple but still, you’re on to something, Kelly.
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Naked Girl in a Dress October 11, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Thanks, Lisa! I do think we focus so much on what we want in a man, that the list continues to build to an unrealistic level.

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Brook L. Dame October 12, 2012 at 6:14 pm

What a wonderful dose of reality!
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Naked Girl in a Dress October 17, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I think so, too.

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Momma Sunshine October 15, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I have definitely found my Mr. Perfect For Me.

He’s NOT perfect. He stumbles. He makes mistakes. But you know what? He owns up to those mistakes, learns from them, and keeps trying to do better.

And you know what else? He loves me. In just the way I’ve always wanted to be loved.
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Naked Girl in a Dress October 17, 2012 at 2:03 pm

It has been wonderful to follow you both on your blogs these last several years. I am so happy you all are together–in the same city and under one roof. Enjoy!

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Classic NYer October 17, 2012 at 10:48 pm

I can find you a man who will miss the nfl game for a craft fair, but he’s already in a committed relationship with another man he met at a craft fair while the game was on.

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Naked Girl in a Dress October 18, 2012 at 8:06 am

Too funny!

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