He’s Worth It

December 6, 2012

in Relationships

converse sneaker with heart

Readers have been on a roller coaster with me, sharing my excitement over a new relationship, and my tears at it’s conclusion. I write from my heart, sharing it all.

When it comes to commitment, I prattle on about breaking out in hives whenever anyone mentions the M-word (marriage) and F-word (forever). It’s a stressful concept for me to think in these terms for a simple reason: if you think about it, you hope for it, and you set yourself up for inevitable disappointment. Somehow, with the realization this is a big issue for me, readers continue to come back, devouring my relationship “advice.” According to Google Analytics, they love my advice, actually.

Thinking about relationships over the last four years and my writing, I recognize there were a lot of “firsts” related to Sean. When we first met, I was in the throes of serial dating, completely dedicated to the public declaration I made here at Naked Girl. Becoming serious with Sean would get in the way of my serial dating chronicles, which is one of the many reasons I put off any initial overtures on his part; I actually let my writing guide my love life for a while. And unlike everyone else I have dated, when I started writing about Sean, he chose his real name to be used on my blog, completely embracing my writing endeavors, and the medium in which I choose to publish. I also found it hard to be honest with readers regarding the extent of my feelings. If I did, would it end with me writing with tear-filled eyes as I explained it’s demise? Could I really say, “But this one is different” without a collective giggle being heard across the internet?

It’s not surprising to me how my writing was affected by Sean because nothing about this relationship is like any that have come before. Instead of keeping him away from my children, I thrust him into our family life early, watching to see if he would connect with my kids or not. Sean was dragged to numerous social gatherings with my closest friends to discover his social skills as well as his comfort level with people who are special in my life. Instead of keeping doors to messy rooms closed, he received an early, full tour of my less-than-perfect home. Through all of this, Sean has maintained a steady commitment with his feelings for me and our relationship, regardless of how hard I attempted to chase him away. The man has handled each challenge I have thrown his way with ease, a great sense of humor, and an unwavering commitment to give everything he has to our relationship.

I love this man, and everything he brings to my life.

And in the process of loving Sean, I have learned to love the M-word and F-word.

Without hesitation, fear, or hives.

He’s worth it.

“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

~Bob Marley

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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

Tara R. December 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I’ve been with my husband almost 30 years. It’s not been easy, sometimes it’s not been very fun, but it has definitely been worth it. Forever can be a very good thing. Good luck…
Tara R. recently posted..White peppermintMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Thank you, Tara! It feels good to believe in forever again.

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Faye December 7, 2012 at 4:25 am

I just celebrated my 40th anniversary,we married at 18-20, what I feel about marriage is that is not a happily ever after but its work, its your good days and bad days, sticking it out through being out of sync as well as being blissfully happy. I hope you have found someone who is equally willing to do the work to stand strong in each other’s love.

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 7, 2012 at 6:26 am

Faye, Congratulations on 40 years with your husband! After being married 17 years before we split the first time, I do know the good and bad that comes with marriage. I think this time I have someone committed to work as hard as I do in relationships when we hit a bump and need to get to the other side of a problem. It will make a big difference having that in a partner this time.

Marian December 6, 2012 at 2:27 pm

congratulations!
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Thank you, Marian!

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lisa thomson December 6, 2012 at 2:29 pm

The picture tells me you run away from what your heart tells you. But when I look closer the heart is made from the shoe laces, so if you run it goes with you. You’ve accepted the f-word and the m-word finally. Hmmmm, could this be a proposal acceptance? Good for you for leaving the ‘doors’ open in your house for Sean to see it all (symbolically speaking). He sounds like a special person and I’m so happpy for you. (that was a typo but I left it ’cause I liked the extra p). Not sure if I’ve solved the secret message but I will stay posted. :)
lisa thomson recently posted..Christmas Gifts to Avoid for the DivorceeMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm

You left a lot of great insight into what you read as well as the image. Nicely done! Unless it is clearly stated in the comment section, I will wait until tomorrow to announce. Thank you so much for the warm wishes for this wonderful relationship. It means a lot to me.

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Random Girl December 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm

It’s been interesting to see your heart open with Sean, don’t get me wrong, you went down swinging, but it’s been really cool to see you learn to lean into the goodness of it all.
I’m happy for you, for following your heart regardless of your fears, and letting love happen!

ps, this is the sappiest comment I may have ever left…don’t hold it against me!
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

It IS sappy for you, RG!! I did go down swinging. Sean has great stories about my battle at accepting the inevitable. I am off to read your guest spot over in my favorite jackalope hole.

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@bluenotebacker December 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Maybe your best post yet! So happy for you guys. I think “She’s worth it,” to myself all the time, and I bet he does too ;)
@bluenotebacker recently posted..I’m a horrible personMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Hey, thanks for the kind words about my writing! I really appreciate that. It sounds like you and your Kellie are both worth the effort in the pursuit of the M-word and F-word as well. Good luck to you!

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Rita December 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm

You don’t even know how timely this is for me to read. Thank you for reminding me that sometimes, it’s worth the wait.

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Oh, I love when I help a reader through my words. Thank you for letting me know. The right one will be worth it…and Sean comes after a long line of guys who were not worth it.

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Siobhan December 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I have been married to my beloved for almost 19 years, I think you did what I should have done…you eloped

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Very close, Siobhan! I will tell everyone tomorrow if someone doesn’t nail it here today.

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Melysa December 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Congrats on finding a happy and supportive kind of love.

Truly inspiring.

My guess is that you have a new roommate… ;)
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Thanks, Melysa!

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Jennifer R. December 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I spent my entire dating life running from love and loss, preferring committed relationships with men I knew I’d never want to marry. I was lucky enough to find a great man when I was finally ready to take the risk, and smart enough to hold on to him. Getting married for the first time in your late 40s isn’t for everyone, but it was right for me. The right one is worth the wait.

I’m happy that you’ve found yours.

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Thank you, Jennifer. He was worth the wait.

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Marry Me Knot December 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Great post. Sounds like you are in a really great place. I think there really aren’t enough women who take their time and reflect on their relationship as you have. You guys seem really happy.
Marry Me Knot recently posted..A Love StoryMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 7, 2012 at 6:28 am

Thank you. My dating adventure post separation was a great learning lesson for me. I couldn’t be where I am right now without all the experiences I had leading up to meeting Sean; each one helped me shape what I was looking for in a long term partner.

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Paula December 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Whether you got engaged, eloped or got a new roommate, I’m happy for your happiness!

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Naked Girl in a Dress December 7, 2012 at 6:26 am

Thanks Paula! I got engaged, and am very happy.

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Charlotte December 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

I love going back now and reading this (now that I know the news!). I love that Bob Marley quote. Love that Sean was okay about you using his real name on your blog. And I love how completely smitten you are with each other.

Congrats, my sweet friend :)
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 7, 2012 at 10:19 am

Thank you, Charlotte!

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kath galasso December 7, 2012 at 10:19 am

So very happy for you both. Love is a special thing the first, second or tenth time around. Love and a real relationship is even more so. Wishing you many happy minutes, days, years, lifetimes.
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 7, 2012 at 10:22 am

Thanks, Kath. What I have with Sean is a very special thing. I am really happy for a second chance at forever.

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T. A. Woods December 8, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Good luck to you! It sounds like this one is a winner.
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 11, 2012 at 9:14 am

Thank you. Sean is a great addition to my life.

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Classic NYer December 13, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Somewhat offtopic: I’m amazed that you were able to let your writing guide your love life and still stay generally sane. If I ever let my writing guide my love life, all kinds of ridiculous things would transpire. You’d be amazed at how many times I stared down a potentially very bad decision and thought “but on the upside, it would be an awesome blog story…”
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Naked Girl in a Dress December 14, 2012 at 9:54 am

I had so many bad dates that would make great stories for the blog…or a book!

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