Divorce Advice: Learn to Make Lemonade

When life gives you lemons

Sometimes life sucks.

There’s no more eloquent way to put it. Life experiences can be frustrating, heartbreaking, painful, depressing, and more. Regardless the extent of the challenge, age and experience lead to understanding these two truths:

  • Whatever the difficulty, it will eventually pass.
  • Make the best of every situation.

Even the most unbearable situation will eventually be resolved, and healing inevitably occurs following a loss. This understanding is something I didn’t possess until separating from my husband. It took experiencing an overwhelming amount of uncertainty and heartache, and then experiencing resolution of the issues, to understand and fully embrace the concept.

As I look back four years, I was facing many stressful challenges; my ex and I had recently split, where the kids and I would live was uncertain, what my financial situation would be was unclear, and whether I would shift careers was unknown. It was overwheming. The ex and I waited a year and a half to even begin divorce negotiations, which was good for several reasons, but also left me worrying and in limbo for far too long; I wasn’t able to fully heal and more forward as a result.

But all these challenges didn’t mean I was miserable and depressed each day; I had great moments as well as some low points. I even embraced many good things in my life that came as a result of the divorce. The more I focused on the good, no matter how fleeting, the more manageable the bad became. And eventually, the aspects of my life that were uncertain were resolved. I could begin to build a life on more solid ground as a result.

“…and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

~Marilyn Monroe

Looking back, life fell apart for me. Something much better fell in place though. None of it would have happened without the difficult experiences I had as a result of the divorce. That has led me to be grateful for the challenges I faced each day as I made my way to this happier life. A few examples:

  • I found my voice in writing again.
  • Have a happier home and kids.
  • Formed closer friendships.
  • Established a successful business doing work I love.
  • Returned to school for a professional photography degree.
  • Met, fell in love with and became engaged to Mr. Right after dating a lot of Mr. Right-Nows.

I made it to the other side of the divorce challenge, enjoying life now more than I ever imagined when thinking of the future four years ago. For those who have not finished walking that path, have faith. The end to the stress and uncertainty will come, and something even better will be waiting on the other side. Until then, make the most of each day. And no matter how hard it is to see the ray of sunshine, find it daily.

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