How to Keep a Relationship Fresh

April 25, 2013

in Best of Naked Girl, Relationships

Waiting in a line to buy entry tickets to a children’s museum many years ago, I stood in front of an older gentleman leaning on a cane, who was standing alone. Ever the chatterbox (and snoop), I turned and asked him if he was buying tickets to take his grandchildren through the museum.

“No,” he said, “My wife and I are getting tickets.”

It was such a puzzling response to me. What older couple wants to spend the afternoon being trampled on in the play area, be painted in the crafts area, and dine with screaming, rambunctious children in the museum cafe? When prodded further, he explained the two of them were going for a balloon ride, pointing to the top of the building to show me. Tethered to the museum roof was a balloon that was released to go up so many feet over the building. It was brought down after spending a bit of time overlooking the Baltimore waterfront area.

“This is our date,” he explained.

Once his wife joined him in line after parking the car, the gentleman explained he was just starting to tell me about their regular dating routine. He then proceeded to tell me that each month they alternate setting up a surprise date. The person in charge coordinates the outing, only telling the other once they are on their way to the date. Seeing this gentleman in his 70’s light up as he described numerous dates they had experienced through surprising each other, and seeing how much in love they were, was truly inspiring. Once I said as much, the gentleman took my breath away with his response:

“It keeps the relationship fresh.”

How wonderful it must be to experience a relationship where an effort is being made by both people many decades after saying “I do.” Too often love is left to wither and die, but this couple was continuing to do the work to make the relationship be successful long term. This experience years ago led to a recent conversation with Sean.

Sean and I have a busy life together. We are raising our four youngest kids together, training for races, working, staying active (and serving as transportation) in the kids’ activities, maintaining our home, planning a wedding, and more. With the start of baseball season for Monkey and track for Princess Daisy, it has become even more hectic. We have one (or both) of their practices or sporting events daily. Carving time out for us has become even more challenging as a result. Unless you count buying peanuts and Diet Cokes at the ball field for Monkey’s games a date, of course.

This long-ago memory of the older couple came rushing back to me over the weekend and, after sharing with Sean, we have set up our own version of the surprise date nights. We already have Tuesday nights scheduled as our date night each week, but now we have sprinkled in surprising each other with date activities. And, as a result, it seems to have raised the bar with date planning. Not from a financial perspective, but a creative one. This coming Tuesday is our first surprise date night, with me in charge of planning.

I hope, like this older couple, it leads us one day to telling a younger couple how to keep a marriage not just alive, but overflowing with love.

Do you have any ideas for keeping a relationship fresh?

If so, share below!


{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

TB at Blue Collar Workman April 25, 2013 at 12:27 pm

It’s a great idea. It’s amazing how fast things get “old.” It takes a lot of energy and willpower, but keeping things fun and fresh are really important. And it’s an energy that feeds on itself though, so that’s good. ONce you start showing the other person you care more by little surprises and stuff, it just makes things better and better!
TB at Blue Collar Workman recently posted..A Career Change Puts You Back at the BottomMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress April 25, 2013 at 12:39 pm

Showing the other you want to work at the relationship is one of the best things to start on a path to a long-term, happy relationship. I couldn’t agree more, TB!

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Charlotte April 25, 2013 at 2:33 pm

What an incredibly sweet story. I am inspired by couples that try to keep the relationship fresh in whatever ways they can after many years together. It’s when you need to spice things up the most.

XOXO
Charlotte recently posted..meet Kos, the latest foster dog to steal my heartMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress April 26, 2013 at 2:28 pm

I was blessed to meet the couple that day. It’s amazing how long the impression of their marriage has stuck with me.

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Alice Koko April 25, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Kelly!
This is so sync! I just wrote about same subject last week! Just I did not have elderly sweethearts to give me hints,but my dog!
Check it out here:
http://heartfeltmanuscripts.com/relationship-advice-from-my-dog/

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Naked Girl in a Dress April 26, 2013 at 2:28 pm

I am off to read!

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Alice Koko April 27, 2013 at 12:01 am

Thank You :)

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Jester Queen April 25, 2013 at 7:14 pm

You DO realize that after the fact you have to give us at least the flavor of the event. DYING to know where you go!!

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Naked Girl in a Dress April 26, 2013 at 2:29 pm

I will let you know once this starts. I couldn’t put it here because Sean reads my blog. :)

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Kimberly April 25, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Clearly, my dating days are few and far between…but back in the day, I used to peruse the paper for interesting things going on in town (usually on a budget) and make them the focal point of the date.
Kimberly recently posted..We will not be silentMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress April 26, 2013 at 2:30 pm

I will have to start scouring the paper for ideas when mine dry up. I think we will end up doing more things I say I wish I had time for, but never follow through and actually do!

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Belle Vierge May 4, 2013 at 10:36 pm

This is such a sweet story! My boyfriend and I love going to science/children’s museums together. It’s definitely hard to keep a relationship fresh, especially since he and I are “medium-distance” (two hours apart), and I’m currently working two jobs (plus blogging is basically a third job). But we’ll skype while working on our respective hobbies, or we’ll skype while watching the same thing together on TV. We have a bucket list of dates, and we get excited each time we cross one off! I hope we can continue keeping things exciting as our relationship continues. :)
Belle Vierge recently posted..Misbehaving and Making HistoryMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress May 8, 2013 at 7:09 am

It is hard to keep a relationship fresh, but taking the advice of wise, happily married people certainly can help!

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Joe May 8, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Inspiring, to say the least. I’m the luckiest man in the world, and I make sure [Maris] hears and/or sees that every day. Hopefully, we can be one of those cute so-in-love elderly couples, some day. Probably soon, actually!
Joe recently posted..The Story Of Balloonpopper Chillingsworth, As Told By All-but-Dissertation Tucker DummychuckMy Profile

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Naked Girl in a Dress May 9, 2013 at 9:33 am

I just know you and Maris will be, Joe!

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