Clearly I was not in the best mood yesterday. If I tainted anyone’s Valentine’s Day experience with my negative rant, I apologize. And while I do still wonder about “forever,” I have a better perspective today.
My post yesterday reminded me again of how fortunate I am to have wonderful readers and friends. I received texts, emails, Facebook messages, and comments from many. It isn’t often that a reader visits my site to read anything less than a hope-filled message. As a result many of you were concerned something had happened in my life recently.
To assuage any worries, I am still dating and enjoying the experience. That has not changed. But even if dating had taken a turn, I would still be happy. Dating simply rounds out my life. I enjoy the companionship, the fun dates, the excitement that comes from new experiences and getting to know someone, but it isn’t a measure of my overall happiness.
Not only did I receive supportive comments from readers, but I also received good advice as well. Two comments that I appreciated most yesterday:
- Sent by a male reader in a direct message: “The important thing is you can’t punish your new man for the sins of another man.”
- A comment left by Classic NYer: “…but here’s a question: why does love have to be forever? Why can’t love just be now? Just a thought…”
These two comments resonate for me.
If I am to continue to date, I need, at some point, to drop the fears of what has happened in the past. It isn’t fair to a man I am dating, but it also affects my ability to truly enjoy this new person in my life.
Classic NYer reminded me that I should just enjoy today and let the future happen. I survived the end of a 20 year marriage, persevered through the tough times immediately following the split, and I am now thriving. Could anything really be more challenging than that experience? There isn’t anything to fear if I keep that in perspective.
The last time I wrote a piece with a similar tone, I followed it up with a post explaining that to be “naked” meant holding nothing back in my writing. In that follow-up post I promised to simply be me and not force happiness and sunshine when I was not feeling it. So today I write to you reminding you that being “naked” means being honest about the emotions felt and honoring it in the moment.
“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
~Mary Manin Morrissey
I had my moment yesterday.
I have no intention of blocking my dreams today.
As always, thanks for reading.