When is the Right Time to Tell the Guy you are Seeing About your Blog?

Question: When does receiving a Facebook friend request send you into a panic?

Answer: When the guy who sent the request has been on one date with you and doesn’t know about your blog (and you post blog links on Facebook).

There are many sites, including Singlemommyhood, with information to help single parents make the best decision possible surrounding introducing a love interest to children and how to date post-divorce. But there is no information to help with the decision of when to tell someone you are seeing about your blog.

With the first several guys I dated after the break up in the fall, this was an issue. I am proud of my writing and certainly don’t hide my identity on this site. However, going on a first date with someone who has read this content can be unnerving; it is the equivalent of mailing excerpts from your diary before your first date. Who would do that?

The first few guys I went on dates with, it was something I felt uncomfortable about, but I quickly realized that my blog was actually helping me screen dates.

Examples of Sharing a Blog with Someone You Date

  • One guy devoured my blog and became an expert on me. And wanted to share thoughts. All the time.
  • Another date called me out on ordering a Diet Coke at lunch. He made too big of a deal about it.
  • The guys feel closer to me because they understand me on some deeper level.

What I have discovered is that this blog is the equivalent of a guy with a baby or puppy; Naked Girl in a Dress is a guy magnet. That would be great if I liked this type of attention for my blog, but I don’t. I find it annoying and a bit creepy.

So, I changed my dating strategy and avoided, as best I could, giving out my last name. This was working well until one guy sent an ominous text one evening:

Are you uncomfortable telling me your last name?

My response: Yes, actually.

I told him that evening about my blog. I explained I have nothing salacious on it, but it is an unfair advantage for him to read it at such an early stage of dating. This guy told me he was happy getting to know me the traditional way and that when I felt comfortable, he would look forward to reading.

Bonus points for the guy.

When I finally decided to share my blog with him, I sent him a link and waited nervously for a response.

“…you are an amazing woman” is the text I received.

Bonus points again.

That night when we spoke, I was waiting for him to turn into what some other guys had become: a creepy fan of my site. With that, all feelings for him would evaporate and I would move on as a result.

As I braced myself for the conversation, I was shocked to realize he had only read two posts. The guy explained to me that it was like peeling layers away and getting to know me on a much more intimate level. He wanted to take his time and read slowly.  Just as he would be getting to know me through our interactions, he wanted the same opportunity with my writing.

Yes, more bonus points.

What I have learned over the last several months is that more than anything, my blog is  not something to hide, but rather, to watch how a man reacts to it. I did not go out on more than two dates with any of the guys overly-excited about my blog. As for the guy who read slowly, I am still seeing him. And it is going really well.

If you have a blog, do you have any personal experiences to share?

When has been the right time for you?

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