The Start of Something Good

March 25, 2011

in Song of the Week

This weekend (Friday through Sunday) includes an estimate for new carpeting, lunch with a girlfriend, a chiropractor’s appointment, cycling, running, a fun date, lunch with a group of friends, two home improvement projects, writing, homework for school, a work project, and baseball practice for Monkey.

This is my weekend without the kids and, 27 months since my separation, I embrace the weekend alone time. I take advantage of having the freedom to date, see friends, work around the house, and just having quiet time alone. This is progress for me.

Two years ago I struggled when the children were with their dad. Some weeknight dinners the ex had with Monkey and Princess Daisy, I could not even come home; I would take a book to a restaurant where I would read, eat dinner, and then return to my ex’s to pick the kids up.

I hear and read of others who struggle with this issue after separating. We all reach a place of acceptance at different times, but we each get there. It was a lot of work to get to this place, but I arrived about six months ago. And it has felt great.

While the last six months have been comfortable for me, just two weeks ago I feel like there was another change in me. I loved having a fun, balanced weekend. I found myself excited to plan the activities for this coming weekend, hoping to replicate what worked two weeks ago. I have varied activities, but a lot of time alone to enjoy a book, work on house projects, catch up on sleep, and just relax.

I think this is the start of something good.

For Song of the Week this week, I am sharing Gavin DeGraw. The last two weeks have been a Mat Kearney LoveFest, mentioning that I have added his Pandora station to my list. Gavin DeGraw’s music is played often on Mat Kearney Radio and I have enjoyed discovering more of his music. Here’s “Follow Through”:

Happy Friday!

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Random Girl March 25, 2011 at 9:55 am

So glad you are finding your groove and that it comes with a lot of happiness. I had and still have a hard time occasionally on the weekends that I don’t have my princess. I try to schedule myself pretty heavy with friends, dates, concerts, etc. I also volunteer every Saturday that I don’t have her so I feel like I am doing something productive for someone when I’m not taking care of her. I enjoy the option for an afternoon nap, a good long shopping trip, or an overnight adventure. Nothing wrong with valuing your “you” time girlie, you have earned it!
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Naked Girl in a Dress March 25, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Thank you! It was hard fought to get to this place, but now I am in that groove and loving it!

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Lance March 25, 2011 at 10:01 am

When I got divorced, everyone would say, “hey, when you don;t have Bug (my now 7 yr old), you can do anything you want. Enjoy the freedom!” Then when those weekends or weekdays happened, I was miserable. Learning to be on your own or without your kid(s) is hard.

Now that I’m remarried and Bobina and I are rarely alone, when we are we live every moment like we’re on vacation. Of course, an hour into the alone time, one of us says, “I wish the kids were home.”

Work on yourself and realize who and what you are. Everything else is icing on the cake.
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Naked Girl in a Dress March 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm

“Work on yourself and realize who and what you are.”

Great advice Lance!

Two weekends ago I was on a date and spent some time explaining to the guy how much I love being single. The day of our date I had exercised, worked on my writing, planted in my porch pots for spring, read, and completed a home repair project. It was an awesome day and then and incredible evening with him. I loved it! I really think I turned a corner and enthusiastically embraced that alone time on another level two weeks ago. That is what inspired this post.

I love your comments. thanks for visiting again!

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Jennifer March 25, 2011 at 10:29 am

With time we all grow and adapt to our circumstances. It sounds like you’ve embraced this time without your children and it sounds like you’ve got one busy weekend ahead of you!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Make sure to squeeze in the rest and relaxation that you so deserve!
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Naked Girl in a Dress March 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm

It is a fun-filled weekend, but there will definitely be down time in there. Tonight is going to be a relaxing evening before all the fun starts on Saturday.

Thank you for visiting!

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Justin March 25, 2011 at 10:45 am

Enjoy your alone time, it is few and far between. As a single parent as well, I know that feeling that you had.
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Naked Girl in a Dress March 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Yes Justin, I am embracing this time alone and making the best of it. I can’t wait for this weekend; fun time with friends, accomplishing things around my home, quiet time, and a date with an incredible guy. It’s all good.

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MrSandMan41 March 25, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Kudos to you NGiaD for a terrific posting!

You deserve to feel good about how far you’ve traveled in your journey. Most people I have met who pressed the reset button in their late 30s and 40s struggle with the transition far longer…Further evidence, for you, that this was the best step.

Endings are always the landmark for new beginnings–Congratulations for your’s!

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Naked Girl in a Dress March 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Thank you for the kind words. I am glad you are enjoying my blog.

It is a wonderful beginning. I never knew life could be so full and rewarding actually.

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