At times I am plagued with indecision simply because I fear not making the right decision. When indecision strikes, time is consumed while I macerate over the options. Would time be better served enjoying life? Definitely.
As my friend BC often tells me, “Kelly, sometimes you just have to order the lobster roll.” This great advice is based upon a story I related to him last year.
Two summers ago we went on a family vacation to Rhode Island. One day we spent time sightseeing in Newport. When it was time to find a place to each lunch, I got the idea to find a restaurant that served lobster rolls. This wasn’t too difficult to do in Newport, but I realized the one restaurant we chose charged a lot for it. I could not spend that much money on a sandwich regardless of what was stuffed between the two pieces of bread. I walked around to the other restaurants to see if any had a better price, but without any luck. We ended up eating at the restaurant we originally chose and I sat for a long time trying to decide what to do. It was not a matter of whether we could afford the lobster roll, because we could. I just couldn’t get past the price of the roll and felt I would not enjoy it knowing how much it cost. Everyone encouraged me to order it, but, in the end, I did not. It was still an enjoyable day, but internally I was struggling with this indecision over a sandwich.
When I feel myself slipping back to macerating over small decisions in life, I remind myself of this great Mark Twain quote:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Two years after the internal struggle over a lobster roll, I am now faced with making significant, life-changing decisions. I have to make decisions about visitation, custody, child support, how to split extraordinary medical expenses, holiday schedules, asset division, and more. There are moments when I sit quietly and think of all the decisions that must be made related to the divorce. It is simply overwhelming. And yes, I am fearful of making the wrong decision. Not just for me, but I could potentially make a bad decision for my children.
Looking back at the decision plaguing me two summers ago, I wish deciding whether to order a lobster roll was all that I had to worry about this summer. In these two years I have learned how trivial some decisions in life really are and, as my friend taught me, just go for it and don’t worry so much about the small decisions.
Yesterday I had an appointment with my lawyer. I walked out of the meeting feeling so weighted down with decisions I must make before mediation on Friday. I felt completely overwhelmed. I knew I needed a break from all the divorce details the rest of the day. Since I have learned something in these last few years, I did the only reasonable thing that I could do yesterday.
I ordered a lobster roll. And it was delicious.
Be in the moment.
Life is short.
Enjoy the experience.
Comments
18 responses to “Life is short. Order the lobster roll.”
Kelly, I so enjoy your blog! It’s so inspirational. I feel drawn to your happy times as well as your sorrows. You are a clever and interesting writer, and you keep us wanting more…
Wow. GingerMandy sent me… And that was an amazing post.
Can’t wait to read more.
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Good for you ordering that lobster roll. What a fantastic blog. Hope that lobster roll helped. I would definitely not want to be in your situation. Best of luck to you and I hope your future decision making is much simpler.
I’ve soooooo been there. As someone on the other side of all the divorce/custody madness, I can tell you that 1 year makes all the difference in the world. Life might not always be lobster rolls, but it will definitely be better than day old bologna sandwiches.
Good thoughts!
GG
Love it. I’m working really hard to be in the moment more…it’s a tough lesson to learn, for sure.
Wow, just found your blog from TsQuest and I will add you to my guilty-reading-list-to-get-through-the-work-day. So happy to find your blog! My best friend is named Kelly, lives in DC, and is recently separated with 2 kids – coincidence? I think not! Thanks for the enjoyable writing!
Great post. I’m sorry for your rough times, but it seems you are handling them with grace and wisdom.
Found your blog the other day and really enjoy it. As someone who has both lived through the divorce grind and worked in the field – a word of advice, just in case your lawyer didn’t give it. When making the decisions in preparation for mediation – define three different levels for each decision 1. The absolute best – “I can’t believe I stressed this was a benefit to me” 2.) The level you can live with “It is tough, but my kids and I can make it. and 3.) The bottom line – “I can’t go any lower than this – and this is a compromise I don’t like, but neither will he and the kids are ok.”
A successful mediation is reaching an agreement that neither party is thrilled about but that both can live with. If you have the three levels for each decision, then you have already defined your boundaries and know what issues you can give on – and just how far you can bend.
Good luck.
Mmmmm….I love a good lobster roll.
Second try with a comment. Very good post, I am glad I found you via Libby who is at the top of this list. From experience, please know that your kids will never suffer as much as you think they will as long as they know you love them. You will suffer the most but I always said to myself, “one year (week or day) from now, things will be so much better” It helped me get through things knowing they wouldn’t be awful forever. Keep planning on ordering the lobster roll or whatever makes you happy….you deserve it.
Carol, Jerrod, Single Mom, Frank, and Catherine: Thank you so much for the positive feedback on my blog! I am glad you all are enjoying my writing.
Thank you to all of you for sending positive thoughts my way and for the encouraging words. This divorce process is very difficult and you all have lifted my spirits a bit. It helps to know others can look back on the experience and tell me that, with time, this is all going to be OK in the end.
I loved your post! Thank you for sharing. Visiting from SITS
Hi there, I’m a SITS girl paying a visit! I enjoy your blog so much that I started browsing around. I want to say how much I love that Mark Twain quote: it’s on my bulletin boards at work and at home. Also – I’m allergic to all that lobstery goodness but my “thing” is doughnuts, so I get it. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Kelly, you are very grounded and understand the decisions you face this week, trust yourself and all will go well. I will be praying for you this week, STAY STRONG AND KEEP EATING THE LOBSTER ROLL!!!!
Thank you Kristen!
There are so many things I regret after the fact. As you age, there are certain things you will never enjoy again. You may not be able to run, or hike, or party 24 hours straight, life is not the same. So yes if you wan the Lobster Roll order it ! I shall have the lobster myself, though probably not in Newport Beach, cause it is too expensive and crowded.
I agree with you Kathy. On the other hand, there are things you appreciate with age that you would not in youth. Thanks for visiting!