I Ain’t Afraid of No Teenagers

May 10, 2012

in Guests, Parenting

Guest Writer

My guest today is Katie Sluiter from Sluiter Nation. It’s probably best to start by saying Katie is awesome and inspiring. She is a great writer, positive person, all over the internet, and fun. Oh, and she is a mom to two, with the most recent addition joining the family in March. Of course Katie didn’t stop writing. Instead she increased her writing commitment by becoming a contributing writer at Borderless News and Views right before her scheduled c-section. That makes sense, right? To Katie it did and she is a great addition to their writing team as a result–writing in Lifestyle and Politics on alternate weeks.

After you read her great piece here, visit her site, follow her on Twitter, and like her on Facebook. Oh, and if you are a Studio30 Plus member, you could also become her friend there too. You will be happy to make her acquaintance.


I am not good with little kids.

I mean, I have two little kids: an almost 3-year old and an 8-week old–both boys–and I LOVE them. I think they are cute and funny and smart and awesome to hang out with.

But I don’t get them sometimes.

And they don’t get me. They for sure don’t get my jokes.

Although I have trained them to laugh with me.

(WITH me, people. Not AT. WITH.)

Many of my fellow moms with smalls talk about how terrified they are of the TEEN YEARS.

I am so not nervous.

Not even a little bit.

I am a high school teacher and have over a decade of experience with weird teenager moods. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t utter, “teenagers are weirdos,” and then fall over laughing.

I can deal with the seemingly ADD of 14-year old boys and the moody drama of the 15-year old girls.

I know what to say to get kids that age to listen to me.

I am familiar with what the teens these days are listening too. Some of it I can get behind, and when I can’t? I can mock it intelligently.

And they get my jokes.

Well, most of the time. And when they don’t? I can tease them about that too.

I am not afraid to tell it like it is to teenagers, because that is what they understand and respect.

I don’t get embarrassed by their questions. It seems whenever I am pregnant someone will awkwardly ask me something I feel they should have learned in sex ed.* But I answer it anyway. In front of the whole class because I assume others wonder too.

*calm down, it’s nothing about actual sex. Just things like, “how does the baby breathe?” or “will a C-section hurt?” or “wait. more has to come out besides the baby?” It helps that I have had two c-sections. I like to think it means no one is thinking about my vagina. EVER.

It’s hard for teenagers to rattle me or throw me off my game.

Oh they have tried, but I am quick.

Their hormone swings and bad choices and dorky behavior around the opposite sex and bad attitudes and slacker tendencies and constant mind-wandering…none of it makes me nervous.

I mean, when my boys are teenagers, I will only have the two of them in front of me…not 25 or more at a time. And they will be mine. So I can be even more open and honest.

No, I am not afraid of the teenage years.

But I would like to postpone them so I can get more of these dependent, cuddly years where they call me “mommy” for awhile.

Because I will be afraid of my teenage boys if they still call me “mommy” when the are 17.


telling teenagers where to go since '01.


Kate May 10, 2012 at 11:47 am

Thank you SO much for having me today! What an honor to now be listed among the amazing guests you have had. Thank you, thank you!
Kate recently posted..I Ain’t Afraid of No TeenagersMy Profile

Naked Girl in a Dress May 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I am so appreciative you accepted! It’s a great post.

Mark May 10, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Do you allow your husband to call you “Mommy”? ha!
And just so you know, I don’t ever think about your Vagina either!

Kate May 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

not in bed, Mark. :)

I don’t think about your vagina either so we are even. He he…too far?
Kate recently posted..I Ain’t Afraid of No TeenagersMy Profile

Kate May 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Between my hubs and I we have 4 tween/teen boys. Ugh! Help. I have been a professional nanny for over a decade and I relate better to most toddlers than I do adults. My sons and I get along fine, but the teen age years have me a little shaken. Anytime you wanna trade I am more than willing. ;-)
Kate recently posted..Gratitude on Mother’s DayMy Profile

Kate May 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I think I feel ok because I sort of know what to expect…the great or the scary. My brothers (and our friends) were all various degrees of naughty and sneaky, and my students? Oh Lord. Some of them are handfuls. But I know what COULD happen better than with the littles. I can’t reason with a 3 year old, but I can with a 13 year old. Sometimes. :)
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Brook L. Dame May 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I fully get it! Little kids, um…not so much — though they do seem to like to follow me around and I can’t figure out why. Teenagers? They get me!
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Kate May 10, 2012 at 7:41 pm

right? plus I am hilarious to the teens.

or at least in my mind I am.
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Lance May 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I have a sixteen-year-old daughter, as you know, Katie. Gender does matter in terms of their moods and such but at least one of your boys will be similar to how I was. Moody, angsty, anti-mommy and daddy, and completely unreachable emotionally.

AS open and honest and funny and interesting as you and your husband are, I think the teen years with your boys will be fine.

welcome to the naked girl’s place
Lance recently posted..100 Word Song – Telling StoriesMy Profile

Kate May 10, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Yeah, I know gender can tend to matter. Thank GOD I have boys! LOL.

and thank you…I like it here :)
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Classic NYer May 17, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Well, shit, I am!

Then again, I was one myself not too long ago.
Classic NYer recently posted..On the Wives and Girlfriends ClubMy Profile

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