Who are All These People and Why are They Here?

May 17, 2012

in Guests, Relationships

Guest Writer

I asked Suniverse from The Suniverse to be a guest here because she is funny. And outrageous. Oh, and I like her a lot. Those are my reasons. You will find reasons for liking her as well. My guess is that it will start with her funny guest piece below and then will continue to grow as you follow her hilarious tweets and read her great blog posts. She’s also a member of Studio30 Plus. Friend her there too.


The husband and I have been having Date Nights the past several Fridays. Mostly because it’s better than just sitting around the house, but also to pretend that we are FUN! and COOL! and can still hang with the best of them. I’m not sure who “them” are, but we will kick their asses in fun-having.

Since our standby of going out and doing stuff used to entail massive quantities of booze and so many delicious cigarettes, we figured that we needed to come up with something else. Something that would be less likely to have unending after-effects [A hangover at 43 is painful and debilitating in a way that my 23 year old self could not imagine, and neither of us is the type of person who can be just a social smoker. I haven’t smoked in almost 17 years, and I still get a Pavlovian craving sometimes.] and would not take more energy that we’d be able to give after a week of work, which frankly, isn’t much energy at all.

We’ve tended to go out to dinner and maybe see a movie [I’m lying – we’ve gone out to dinner, tried to find a movie we wouldn’t mind seeing, and ended up going home and watching Netflix or Hulu]. Last weekend, we had tickets to go see Kathleen Madigan, who is so goddamn funny I want to stand right next to her and pet her hair and be her BFFFFF.

The husband got the tickets for the 8:00pm show. We picked this show for the following reasons:

1. I tend to fall asleep at 10:30pm, which means I’d be asleep for most of the 10:00pm show, which is just throwing money away.
2. I take an 8:00am exercise class on Saturday mornings because I am too dumb to live.
3. Seriously. 10:00pm for a show? We wouldn’t get home until like midnight, at which point I’d be a pumpkin.

Anyway, we went to the show and were seated and I looked around and noticed that this was an . . . older crowd. There were some people in their 20s, a few in their 30s-40s, but A LOT in their late 50s-60s-70s.

I was a bit weirded out and turned to the husband. “I didn’t realize Kathleen Madigan skewed so old. Did you?”

The husband looked at me and said, “We’re at the old person show. You know, for people who can’t drive after dark. Everyone else comes at 10:00.”

“Asshole.” I punched him in the arm for pointing out that my habits were those of an AARP member.

If you need me, I’ll be in the corner, setting out my Bingo cards.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 10:09 am

Thanks so much for letting me be part of this! This is great!


Tai Fung May 17, 2012 at 10:17 am

Well, NGIAD posted 6 links to this article within 15 minutes, so I figured she must have REALLY wanted us to read this. Suffice to say, been there! At least you can outrun the crowd if there’s a fire (probably from someone’s exploding oxygen tank).


Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 11:50 am

HAHAHA. Glad you came by to read this. And I hadn’t even THOUGHT of the safety aspect. From now on, I’m bringing old people with me as a preventative measure.


Naked Girl in a Dress May 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Crap. Three are auto-feeds, which I keep meaning to fix. Glad you stopped by anyway. And if 6 gets you over here, maybe I should just leave the feed alone!


grandeMocha May 17, 2012 at 10:36 am

I get mail from AARP. It is sad really. I saw a Groupon from LMFAO and I was totally excited then I realized it was a Wed night. Not on a school night!


Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

Do you? I get stuff, but it’s misdirected for my dad. Also, who goes out on a school night? What are we, in college?


amanda {the habit of being} May 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

this is funny and all too familiar. only my husband is the one that is quickly veering into full old person behavior.
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Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 11:57 am

Thanks, Amanda! I’m glad you liked it. I guess I’ll be seeing your husband at the Early Bird Special.


Middle State May 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Heh! I kinda felt that way when I went to a Lez Zeppelin show. (Wasn’t sure if it would draw a rocker crowd or a lesbian following.) While I enjoyed the concert itself, when I scanned the crowd I was shocked to see a sea of bald, balding, graying and generally old and wrinkled folks. In other words, the demographic who actually have Led Zeppelin concert ticket stubs in their scrapbooks. That was a sobering moment.


Heather May 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I followed Suniverse over here. This is a great blog (and a hilarious post, of course). I’d rather everybody in a room be older than me. If they are younger, I feel like the sphinx.


Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Thanks, Heather!

I only feel weird about being in a room full of younger people when I actually realize they are younger. I tend to assume we are the same age. Which may be a mental issue.


Naked Girl in a Dress May 17, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Mental issue. You? Hmmm. Um. No! We all feel that way when we are in a room with younger people. *hoping that was convincing*


Naked Girl in a Dress May 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Thanks for visiting!


Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Oooh, that must have been a great show, despite the balding demographic.

It’s a sad moment when you realize who your contemporaries actually are.
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Jen May 17, 2012 at 6:25 pm

This is too funny. My husband and I do date night every Friday night too. Usually we go get sushi and are home by 7:30 or 8. Then, it’s asleep on the couch watching television by 9. I would have chosen the early show too. I can’t keep my eyes open past 10:30.


Suniverse May 17, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I’m so glad we’re not alone – I just don’t get people who can stay up so late!

My dream is to open a dance club from 5 – 9pm. It would be awesome.
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Misfit Sarah May 23, 2012 at 1:47 am

I would TOTALLY come to your 5 – 9pm dance club, Suni and I would ROCK that PLACE until maybe 7.15! Then my feet would hurt, my back would ache, I would need some chocolate ice cream and a lie down. But man, would I burn up the floor for a few brief minutes at a time. There would be nutbushcitylimitsing, OhMickeyYou’reSoFineing and I don’t even KNOW what else! Sarah xxx


Sam June 3, 2012 at 4:35 am

I don’t even had my partner in life for now. I enjoy reading the replies of your friends out there while sharing their experiences too. I gained some lessons from them and from yours too.
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Missy July 22, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Sadly but truly, I’d be at that club right with you from 6-8 ( cuz we all know that would THE time to hit it).. Loved it.


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