Finding that ‘Alone’ Time

Suburbia Interrupted There are a lot of ways I discover a blogger to read and follow. It could be through a post link being tweeted, a Facebook post, or from another writer’s blogroll. Today’s guest writer, however, I discovered from a pair of shoes. Not just any shoes; a kick-ass pair of shoes with a sassy chick wearing them. Checking out the newest members on Studio30 Plus, the image to the left, Dani’s profile picture, made me pause. And maybe drool a little. It was inevitable I would find my way to her blog, Suburbia Interrupted, which, like the shoes, led to me falling in love. Dani is smart, fun, sassy, honest, and funny. I was thrilled she accepted my invitation to guest write for Naked Girl in a Dress today.

After you read about sex and donuts here, go read more of Dani on her blog, follow her on Twitter, and friend her at Studio30 Plus. You will fall in love too. With more than the shoes, that is.

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Between raising five kids (from a kindergartener up to 7th graders), sports practices and games, cooking, cleaning, homework, errands, boo-boo kissing, mediator, laundry savant, and whatever else life throws at me on a daily basis, getting alone time with The Big Guy is sometimes hard.  Who am I kidding…it is hard.  Somehow, we make it work.

I hate hearing my friends talk about their failing marriages and sexless days, which turn into months, which inevitably turns into years.  And we all know that the viscous circle continues, hence the failing marriages.  Listen, I have been divorced.  I know how crappy some marriages can be.  I am lucky enough to have tested out the marriage thing the first time, worked out all my kinks after I kicked the ex to the curb and found my handsome prince (this time a keeper).  I will let you in on a little secret:  the second time around is still hard work, even though the circumstances and level of love and trust are in a whole other universe.  Add in kids, life and every thing else and alone time doesn’t just happen.  You have to make it happen, adapting that special time to whenever those few alone time minutes occur.

The Big Guy and I have one mantra that we live by, which is, we refuse to become our friends.  We enjoy being around each other.  We enjoy our date nights.  We enjoy having sex.  We enjoy us.  Somehow, as the years have gone by, we have managed to not only enjoy us, but grow and evolve into a better us.  The key?  We don’t make excuses.  If a quickie in the bathroom is all we are going to get that day, then quickie it is.  If we can’t go out for a date night, we get the kids situated and happy in their rooms and we have date night on the couch and catch up on the television we have recorded.  We never let the stress and chaos of life become an excuse.

This past weekend, I had it all planned out in my head that come Sunday morning, neither me nor The Big Guy would get out of bed before some between the sheets action occurred.  The kids are all old enough now that they can get themselves a drink if they need one.  They can get themselves a Pop Tart or bowl of cereal if they are hungry and one of us isn’t up yet.  Perfect plan…

A few months ago I had baby fever (yes people with five kids can still get baby fever).  That fever quickly ended once I remembered that baby fever would lead to nursing around the clock, sleepless nights, someone once again needing me 24 hours a day.  My kids are all to the point where they are independent enough to not need me quite so much.  I will never again let that baby fever get a hold of me.   What was I even thinking? 

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