This has been a week of contemplation. The main focus has been on identifying what I have been holding onto from past experiences and sorting through whether I was ready to let go.
Following my separation I recognized that during my marriage I had stuffed all my feelings in a box, tied a pretty bow on it, and tucked it away on a shelf. It helped me continue in my marriage, without much contemplation of my feelings. This made it easier for me to cope.
It was emotionally overwhelming when I removed the box, dusted it off, and peeked inside. There was an overflow of feelings that had been stuffed in the box over the years. It seemed unmanageable at times as I sorted through the contents.
Spending time thinking about where I am right now, I realized that it was time to let go of a few things. And what I recognized this week is that the box wasn’t a bad thing. I just tied the knot too tightly on the bow the last time and I wasn’t mindful of what I was even placing in the box. If I had been more aware, I would probably have sorted through those emotions much easier at the end of my marriage. And the box might not have been so full.
Unlike my marriage box, the new box is a place to tuck away things when I am ready. It is a place to put items that have been fully processed. The first item was placed in the box this week.
It was time.
It felt good.
I feel lighter, freer, and happier as a result.
This new item was overdue to be tucked away, but I needed to do it in my own time. I am thankful to the friend and the circumstance that prompted me to recognize it was time to let go. It was a gift.
Doing this is allowing me to move forward and enjoy the next great adventure in my life. I have room now to fully appreciate a new experience.
Today the Song of the Week is These are Days by 10,000 Maniacs. It’s a great song and a good way to put the week behind me and look forward to a fun weekend with the kids. We have a three-day weekend filled with fun activities. The weather is going to be warmer so we will have the opportunity to enjoy being outdoors. Our plans include a big craft project, plans with friends on Sunday, a movie to watch, and family game night.
My favorite lines from the song:
…you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are the days that you might fill with laughter….
Happy Friday!
I wish I could have done what you did with the box.
No you don’t Justin! It took a lot of work to sort through that box after we separated. I promise it is better to stay in touch with your feelings. Follow my new plan for having a box and only tuck away that which has been processed. And make sure you allow yourself to check in the box from time to time.
Thanks for visiting!
I meant the post divorce box not the pre-divorce box.
I never got a chance to “process” anything post divorce and my life has suffered a lot as a result.
Oh, I understand now! I was in therapy for about nine months and she made me dust off the box. It was the best.
I hope you are on track now…or on your way. It’s never too late Justin!
Have a great weekend.
These really are the days, to spend as you see worthy and pursuing your truest happiness. Those that get to make that journey with you, for however long, are very lucky indeed. Keep the bow on the box loose and open often to make sure that there are not items that could be more useful to you outside of the box. Sometimes re-purposing something old in new way is just want you needed. Hope you have a fantastic, joy-filled weekend.
Thank you for always visiting and leaving great insight in your comments.
I hope you have a great weekend as well.
It is a beautiful day and I am heading out to cycle. Starting to train again for race season.
These are the days that you might fill with laughter… words to remember as I start my weekend. I enjoyed your song selection & today’s post. : )
Thanks for visiting Tasha. It is a good song to start off the weekend! I have been outside enjoying unseasonably warm weather with the kids since school let out. It was a good start to the weekend as well.
That song. What a blast from the past!
Kristy,
I love picking music for Song of the Week. It is a fun way to incorporate music into my writing. Glad you enjoyed this week’s pick!
I just discovered your blog. very good writing.
I like how you do a song of the week. I do a song every post. Obviously, we like music
Lance,
I am so happy you visited my blog and thank you for the compliment on my writing. This weekend I will stop by your blog to see how you incorporate songs into your posts.
Love that song!
I needed that song today. Thank you so much! 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it Jana!
Sometimes we have to put things in a pretty bow wrapped box until we are ready to put them away for good. Then we can put them in a brown cardboard box and ship them off to a Goodwill store or if we’re lucky, we can toss them into the dump. Glad you’re able to recognize that you’re moving on and you will be alright. Sometimes that’s hard to see.
I love the idea that eventually the items in the box end up at the dump!
I don’t guess I’ve ever really listened to the lyrics of that song. What a great concept. Moving on is a beautiful thing, when you know it’s time. Good luck!
Thank you Bejewell.
Oooooh….the boxes we wrap up and shove on high shelves….I’ve had them, too.
Came by from TRDC, and really enjoyed this.
*Sigh* I love the analogy. Love the song. And seriously love how at peace you sound!
P.S. The part about the bow that was tied too tightly? That was especially genius! Powerful post!
What kind words Galit. Thank you so much! I am glad I shared it with the writing group today.
Just awesome. I have one of those boxes as well, and although I don’t want to open it up just yet, it calls to me when I’m feeling lonely, down or sick. I have to remember that the stuff in the box was from the GOOD TIMES and we can’t go home again. I found you on TRDC and I’m so glad I did. I may have friended you on studio30+ as well.
Yvonne,
Thank you for stopping by from RDC! I will look you up at Studio30 Plus to make sure I am following you there as well.
Glad to hear this piece resonated for you.
Oh, I so saw myself in your post. Ten years ago I went through a divorce and was crushed about it. But I came to discover that I had stuffed so much in that tightly wrapped box, too, and it’s been my greatest joy since to rediscover what was true and to let go of what wasn’t needed anymore.
Wonderful video, too! You wouldn’t catch me dancing out on a ledge like that, though! 😉
While there have been some difficult times, I am very happy to be where I am in my life.
I am happy.
Oh I am really good at putting things in a box and tying that bow nice and tight. I’m glad you are working through yours and able to get out the knots. Great post!
Thank you for visiting Jessica! I have to maintain a focus on it, but I am continuing to work on NOT stuffing in a box on a regular basis. It gets easier over time.
I have one of those boxes….
I think my box keeps me sane at times. It definitely did during my marriage.
—Love the symbolism of the box.
Very insightful Post.
Xx
Ps. I let EVERYTHING out of my boxes !
Thank you for visiting. I am glad the post resonated for you. That is great you are so free, abandoning the box idea!