The Bloggess

 Today is the big day.

It’s the day I have been waiting patiently for since The Bloggess wrote on her blog she had a book deal.

Today The Bloggess’ book is available for sale:  Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir).

But this day is even more exciting because I have an exclusive interview with Jenny Lawson, also known as The Bloggess. It took little stalking effort to convince Jenny to agree. I proved to her that I am her biggest fan, sharing obscure details about her that I had memorized remembered from old posts. After realizing I could win any Jeopardy game involving her life and had staked out her home, she agreed.

Did I mention that the most fabulous, crazy, inspirational, blogger’s book was released today?

Now that I have explained the backstory on this exclusive, here’s the interview:

Me: So, why in the hell would you agree to an interview with me?

Bloggess: Because you wouldn’t leave me alone until I said yes. And, well, my daughter was getting frightened by the car parked in front of our house day and night.

Me: Oh, she noticed? How exciting! I thought it was because you are a huge fan of my site. You even left a comment once.

Bloggess: I did? Oh, yes, I remember. You wrote about puppy-sized elephants. If you wrote about taxidermied animals I would probably visit more often.

Me: So, do you have any advice for me as a writer?

Bloggess: I encourage you to write about zombies, giant metal chickens, and stuffed, dead animals; it will help with your traffic.

Me: Thank you for the advice and the time you took out of your busy book tour for this interview! I am so appreciative you agreed to be a guest.

Bloggess: So, when I return from this tour, will your car still be in front of my house?

Me: No! I promised my stalking drive-bys to make sure you are safe would end with this interview.

If my gushing and the interview with Jenny didn’t convince you to buy her book, here’s what others are saying:

“Even when I was funny, I wasn’t this funny.”  —Augusten Burroughs, author of Running With Scissors and This is How

“There’s something wrong with Jenny Lawson—magnificently wrong. I defy you to read her work and not hurt yourself laughing.” —Jen Lancaster

“The Bloggess writes stuff that actually is laugh-out-loud, but you know that really you shouldn’t be laughing and probably you’ll go to hell for laughing, so maybe you shouldn’t read it. That would be safer and wiser.” —Neil Gaiman

“Jenny Lawson is hilarious, snarky, witty, totally inappropriate, and ‘Like Mother Teresa, Only Better.’” —Marie Claire magazine

And if these great quotes and the Naked Girl stamp of approval aren’t enough to convince you, listen to what a taxidermied mouse has to say about the book.

httpv://youtu.be/OHq2XxLzFLY

Did you buy the book yet?

{Note: This entire interview might have only taken place in my head after a few glasses of wine, but the sucking up to The Bloggess, promotion of the awesome book, and obsession with her is real.}