What Compels You?

This week’s guest writer is Lisa from Random Girl. It touched me to read her opening where she described me as an inspiration, cheerleader, and a friend. Lisa has been all of these things for me as well and I am grateful for our friendship. These last several months of school it has been difficult to stay in touch with friends, but Lisa has been there cheering me on and been understanding of my sporadic contact. She has been wonderful.

Lisa is a gifted writer with great range. I am so happy she agreed to guest write for me. What Lisa chose to share today is something we can all take a moment to pause and think about as we go about our daily routines.

Enjoy Lisa’s words of wisdom today .

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I was so honored when Kelly asked me to guest post here at Naked Girl in a Dress.  It was like getting asked to work with one of my idols really. I was a bit star struck.   Naked Girl in a Dress is one of the very first blogs that I started following and really was a big motivator in me jumping into sharing myself over at Random Girl.

Throughout this year, Kelly has been an inspiration, a cheerleader, and more importantly, a friend. It’s with great pleasure that I take on this opportunity to guest post here.

What Compels You?

I was having a conversation with a friend recently, telling of one of my most recent adventures, and with an incredulous look on her face she asked me, “What compelled you to do that?!?”

Instead of firing off one of my usual flippant or snarky replies to her question, I took a moment to really think about what actually motivated me to take on that particular challenge. And the answer surprised even me. It was because I desired to do so.

This is a new concept for me: doing things simply because desire compels me to.  Not out of obligation, not out of guilt, not out of fear. Simply out of the desire to do so.

For a large part of my life, I had made decisions to do or not do things compelled by a number of things but if I am honest with myself, many of those decisions were made out of my fear. I got married at 22 because of my fear of being the only one of my friends to not be married yet.  I stayed in a marriage I wasn’t happy in because of fear of the judgment and disapproval I would face from getting divorced.  I didn’t pursue a dream career opportunity out of fear that I would fail to meet expectations. The list could really go on and on.

Being compelled to act or not act based on my fear had set a course of making safe decisions and not stepping too far away from my comfort level.   I tried to make sure I met other people’s expectations of me. I tried to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, friend, and co-worker.  It was exhausting.

When life changed, I decided it was time for me to change with it. It was my opportunity to be selfish again. To do things simply because I wanted to do, not because someone expected me to.  And you know what I discovered? I discovered I was happier than I had been in years. I discovered that, despite the upheaval that I had just emerged from, I could be myself with all my flaws and imperfection and impulsive desires.  I could be compelled by desire.

I still am responsible and steadfast when it comes to my family. I still handle my obligations and I will still compromise for the greater good when the situation requires it. But when it comes to pursuing what my heart desires, I do so unapologetically now.

From taking Salsa dancing lessons to planning, to a last minute getaway, to having great sex with a gorgeous man, nothing is off limits for me to do. Fear does not guide my actions any longer and I know that if I it makes me happy, I will be a better person for those that are in my life now.

Take a moment and think about what compels you.  Is it fear? Obligation? Other’s expectations? If it’s anything other than your desire to be doing it, you owe it to yourself to reconsider.

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