It feels good to end the work week with half the moving boxes for the office unpacked and files starting to get organized in drawers, but prepping the office, moving, and my work has taken a toll on another area of my life: cleaning. Tonight the kids both have birthday parties to attend so I should be able to straighten up a week’s worth of mess. Should be able to, but I will probably work instead.
Even though roughly 30 people are coming over on Saturday.
And my house is a mess.
Four years ago I would be spinning like a top, worried that the house wasn’t perfect. I would be upset food hasn’t even been purchased. It would be a stressful environment for all of us. But four years ago I would not have allowed a guest to bring anything and I would have an elaborate menu chosen. I do still enjoy cooking, but with my current work schedule, this party is about being with friends and not about showcasing cooking abilities.
So I am not worrying about cleaning and grocery shopping.
There are so many wonderful lessons I learned as a result of the divorce, but a valuable one was about true friendship. When my ex and I separated I allowed people in, letting them see me naked. I allowed myself to be imperfect and human and it freed me of this erroneous thought about friendship. Finally, at the age of 40, I understood.
Among other things, a real friend is someone you don’t have to clean your house for before they arrive.
Tomorrow is about spending time with friends regardless of the condition of my house, but also about baseball. It is St. Patty’s Day, but this party is a celebration of Spring Training finally arriving. It is about the greatest professional sport in existence beginning again. We will be celebrating the Nats, knowing this is our year. We have Strasburg back for a full season and an increasingly impressive bullpen. Add to it we proved last year we can hit the ball and make runs. It is our year to have it all come together and be a team that plays post season.
Note to friends attending tomorrow: Yes, we can talk about the Phillies, Angels, Dodgers, Giants, and Pirates. Briefly.
For Song of the Week, here’s something to get everyone excited about baseball:
Comments
12 responses to “On Friendship, Housecleaning, and Baseball”
You made me relax, just reading that! So true – “a real friend is someone you don’t have to clean your house for.” Why does it always take us so long to figure out what’s important??? But oh, the feeling when we get there… :)
Ha! I am also relaxed. I didn’t work on my house last night and it is now 11 am with still no effort. And still no stress.
Loved your lessons post from 2010!! Do you still feel all the lessons are there?? An updated lessons post might be in order, I am most interested!! :)
Brilliant idea Chris! I will write a follow-up piece.
I had this conversation with a friend not long ago; she talked about how, as we grew older, she lost a lot of the fun of get-togethers like those we had in college. I told her that the difference is that back then it was about friends hanging out — having pizza and burgers while drinking out of plastic cups was secondary. I told her that we lose the fun only when we start thinking that it’s more important to have the ‘perfect’ house and the ‘right’ dishes for dinner rather than having their best and most enjoyable friends around to make life more enjoyable. Thanks for that reminder!
Enjoy St. Patrick’s Day and the arrival of Spring Training!
Thanks Brook! It really is true. The only problem with this party is that I stated everyone bring baseball food. So, burgers, dogs, chili, Cracker Jacks, pretzels, buffalo chicken dip, salsa, and I guess I better get Tums! I think we will all have upset stomachs tonight.
I hope you enjoy the day as well.
I totally hear you: I feel like if you don’t like the way my house looks, you’re free to get the hell out of it, or clean it for me, haha!
I love that! “Clean it for me or get the hell out.”
Isn’t it great to have real friends? The ones who don’t care what your house looks like? I wish I’d learned that sooner too…but better late than never!
It is great to know who your real friends are and focus your energy towards those who truly matter. I did straighten a bit, but the hardwoods were dirty and carpet not vacuumed. Did come in from gardening until 15 minutes before guests were to arrive too!
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve adopted the phrase, “it’s good enough”. Meaning, the house might not be clean, the food might not be perfect, the kids’ clothes might not match, but it’s good enough for the folks that really matter.
It is a very wise approach to life Deb!