All of us have something under our rug. It might be as small as a corn kernel or as big as a corpse, but I am confident we each have something we have happily swept under the rug, thinking it’s easier to place it there than deal with it.
Thankfully we all come equipped with a little voice within us, reminding us we need to clean the mess we swept away. It can be an annoying reminder, with the frequency of nagging more than we want to hear. But sometimes we don’t want to hear what the voice has to say, regardless of the persistence, and we continue to ignore the lumps in the rug daily.
In the past, I was a master at ignoring the voice. There were no problems in my life that needed tending to. Everything was fine. That was my answer to the voice that was increasing in frequency and volume daily.
The build up under the carpet was so great at the point when I decided to finally listen, that it felt like a tsunami wave hitting me when I lifted the corner of the rug; there was an overwhelming amount waiting for me to deal with. It was emotionally exhausting, and involved a divorce, going back to school for another degree, and making a career change. All at the same time.
One would think after having so much to face and resolve at one time, I wouldn’t put myself in the situation again. But I did. Once I had swept the years of build up under my rug away, there was plenty of room for more. And so, over time, the little voice kept nagging about the things I was choosing to brush away again, but I continued forward with my life. Making one bad decision after the next in another relationship, I was still fighting the voice of reason. This time it wasn’t me lifting the carpet, but rather having the carpet removed for me.
After surviving this next emotional storm, I decided it was enough; I would no longer tolerate even a kernel finding it’s way under my rug. I had finally learned that by sweeping these things away, and ignoring the voice within, the eventual clean up was always much more difficult.
What does that mean for me today?
- I tell the people in my life how I am feeling when a boundary has been crossed.
- The friendships that led to a lot of sweeping have been eliminated from my life.
- Sean and I have open communication so that no kernels related to our relationship make it under the rug.
- I have built a career that allows me to work with a great group of clients on work I love to do.
Do I still have the occasional lump under the rug?
Absolutely.
But I am quicker to respond, knowing what it’s like to clean up after years of ignoring the build up.
Is there anything under your rug?
When will YOU make time for clean up?
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This is so true! We all sweep things under the rug and forget about or ignore them, even when we trip over them at times. I never even thought about the fact that when someone crosses the line and we don’t tell them that we are “sweeping things under the rug.”
Great post…made me think about somethings!
Thanks for visiting and commenting Ty!
A most excellent reminder, Kelly. I was great at doing this and I still struggle sometimes but lifting the carpet led to one of the biggest changes in my life; Divorce. It was a good thing. Painful, but good!
For me as well, Lisa. It led to divorce, but also to school, career change, and, best of all, happiness.