Today I find myself writing because of the recent guest post on Naked Girl by Kir of The Kir Corner. She wrote here Wednesday about finding balance. Kir shared her thoughts on how to have some level of privacy and yet still be the Naked Girl in a Dress on her blog.
It reminded me of the moment last summer when I realized it was time to be more authentic; to share my name, image, and open up more was something I felt compelled to do. It was a liberating experience for me. My writing has also been stronger as a result.
Reading what Kir wrote for my blog also happened to be a serendipitous event for me. Lately I have avoided writing about a topic, but gained clarity as I read Kir’s thoughts on what it means to be a Naked Girl in a Dress.
And, as a result, it is time to figuratively rip the Band-Aid off quickly instead of peeling it off slowly. It is time to share what has been on my mind, but have been unable to write. Not doing so has been bothering me and I have, to some extent, avoided writing on my blog as a result.
What is the Band-Aid I am speaking of?
The relationship with Mr. Thunderbolt is over. It has been for several weeks, but I have not found the right words to share the news here.
Was this a heart-breaking break-up? No. I was relieved it was over.
Why I struggled to write here was that I had this here-we-go-again feeling. I have a break-up and insert the next guy I am dating into funny antidotal stories. Rinse and repeat.
Each man I date, good or bad, is a lesson. I learn from the experience, edit the list I made of what I am looking for, and start anew. There is nothing wrong with this, but I think I am tired of introducing someone only to have to share another break-up story with readers.
Earlier this year I opened the scope of my blog to include relationships. I still want to write on this topic, but right now feel I want privacy in my own relationships. My kids have only met one man I have dated and I will continue to be particular about who I allow in my children’s lives. Maybe I need to be as discerning here too.
Am I missing something in my writing if I want privacy in this aspect of my life right now?
I don’t think so. I can still be the Naked Girl, but leave a little for myself. As Kir wrote in her guest post here this week,
So I think I am going to keep the sheet handy and use it as a cover-up from time to time and then some days, when I am feeling frisky, I’ll put on the backless dress and glitter heels that I keep at the back of my closet and let you peek inside my wilder side.
Like Kir, I will let you peek inside when I am ready to share.
I promise to share what the Universe brings when I am ready. Until then, there’s so much else to share. I am never at a loss for words. With 150 posts published, you must agree.
Happy Friday!
Comments
15 responses to “Serendipitous Events, Fate and the Universe”
so first I’m so honored, literally. That what I wrote could bring you to this amazing realization. Thank you for this.
now, I love that movie, mostly because I love John Cusack and because the thought of things just happening because they “Should” is a concept that I wrap my hands around and squeeze.
Plus that song is also a favorite, for it’s simple idea of things just running into each other and having that change the course of a life.
I am sorry about MR Thunderbolt, but from it, the lesson is that that universe has something better, sweeter, MORE in store for you and while I am sorry if your heart is hurting, I am also so excited to see what gift this world has wrapped up for you, waiting for the big reveal.
I’m blown away and so happy we’ve met Kelly. :)
Like Kir, I adore that movie! Sorry about Mr Thunderbolt, but as someone who has been there, I truly beieve that everything happens for a reason. And each relationship good or bad taught me new things that helped me eventually be in the right place in my head to meet my second husband. Good luck!
I feel the same way about sharing certain things only when I feel comfortable doing it.
I’m sorry to hear about the breakup but I’m glad you handling it so well.
I’m sorry to hear about Mr. Thunderbolt, but like Kir said, there is so much better and more wonderful out there waiting for you. Enjoy the sweetness and the privacy! :)
I’ve been amazed by your willingness to be open about relationships on your blog, because I’ve found it nearly impossible to write about my post-divorce romance(s). I feel like a huge reason for my failing to do so is simply that I’m tired of having everyone in my life know about my partner (my ex-spouse had a popular blog so our split was rather public, which was hard in many ways). But also because my current life just doesn’t seem to fit well into a 3-paragraph blogpost. It’s complicated to be dating again and to deal with the fears of doing so and the difficulties of navigating this with my children.
But it also seems so strange _not_ to be writing about this hugely important part of my journey…
I LOVE that you are choosing authenticity! Way to go girl!
Embrace that face in the mirror (and on the blog!)
I think that it’s interesting that you see yourself as recently more nude to your audience. I also enjoyed reading Kir’s thoughts on how one does not need to shock or bare all to be genuine. For a lot of people being real, open, and genuine is about what isn’t said, or not for prudishness, but for choosing to say things in a delicate or veiled way. It is what they.
It is not what I am surely. I am the tell-all, naked really, expose myself occasionally kind of blogger. And you know what? I have never once dared expose a boy on my blog. Even with a code name.
I am convince that will sink the next relationship, even if I can’t. I think a lot of what Kir said, and what I am trying to is that we are all bold in our own ways. For all my bravado, you say things that would scare me senseless.
I’m glad you were able to open up. It can be a liberating experience. But, as you know, there is a fine line of sharing and maintaining our privacy. Sorry to hear about Mr Thunderbolt but I am sure you are stronger today. Looking forward to more from the Naked Girl.
It was a fun, brief relationship, but nothing of substance. If I am honest with myself, that I am looking for a long term partner (not necessarily a husband though), then the end to this relationship made sense. Thanks Jetts.
I have found it so freeing to be myself on my blog and share my feelings in my writing. There are many things I’m not very good at conveying in person so writing them out feels great. Love the honesty that you are able to share.
Thank you Jessica! I wrote this post in the summer and I am starting to rethink the writing moratorium on relationships. It might be time to open this back up again.
It is funny cause I don’t write about my relationships much either. Mostly because the man in my life requested I not write about him in my blog. And I honor that request.
For me I also don’t write about sex or anything of the ilk. Not that I wanna write porn or anything but there are times a reference or an antidote would work. I mostly avoid it cause my parents (whom I live with) read my blog. Sometimes when I am in the room.
But you have given me something to ponder.
I shared this post with Write on Edge last weekend because I am contemplating opening up again. The wonderful thing is that we really have only self-imposed rules with our writing. So, like you, I have something to ponder. Thanks for visiting!
I think your boundaries are more than reasonable. We all have to decide where to draw the line on the internet. Some are more comfortable sharing very personal aspects of their lives while others are not. As a reader, I just try to respect the boundaries. What lies beyond them is really none of my business.
Thanks for visiting! I shared this post because I am on the fence about letting readers back in. I will be writing about it today actually.